Oh, it's another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a [girl] to do
I guess [s]he better find one soon
[...]
Oh I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
Starting now
My Stupid Mouth | John Mayor
Oh snap what did I do?
Pluto is no longer a planet and to that I say good riddence. If you can't hack it as a planet, don't pretend to be one.
Although, how am I ever supposed to feel whole again?
My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine....
NINE WHAT?!
But hey, when you don't have enough gravity, you don't have enough gravity.
Senioritis, just might kick my butt, but I am not that worried about it.
Physics is going to be one of those classes. One of those classes that everyone loves. Including me.
My study hall teacher thought I was freshman. She saw me driving yesterday, and was kind of freaked out. Well, I am not a freshman.
I'm going to paint a collage of the Arctic Monkeys for art. I need to figure out what to do after that.
English assigments suck. They appear way easier on the outside than they really are. I take it back. They are easy. They are just time consuming.
College scares me. Well no, the searching and applying part of college scares me. It makes me incredibly anxious. I don't know where I want to go, and I need to find scholarships.
Economics scares me. That's something in life that has always scared me though. It's frightning to think that one thing could potentially send us into an economic, spiraling depression. Maybe that's just me, but I worry about it a lot.
Usually I'm not afraid of anything.
"Don’t you see? . . . The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—'Thou mayest'—that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open.” -Steinbeck (East of Eden)
Oh the Hebrew language often applies new meaning to my life. There have been a few things in my life that I just don't want to apply. I want to keep it to myself and just do what I want to do and not have it affect my relationship with God.
The only problem with that it that it leaves my relationship stagnant because it draws me further from God. No one likes stagnicity (yea I just made up a word, what.) if water is stagnant, you do not drink it. When a relationship is stagnant, you do not go back to it. So therefore, that stagnicity turns into nonexistence.
I've been struggling to choose the right thing to do. I don't want to do the right thing. My head wants to do the right thing, but my heart doesn't. My head has left my heart behind, and that's a problem. I can't really do what my heart doesn't want to. It would just be like a shell of me going around doing things without feeling, and people wouldn't understand why I do them.
But as I sat here and debated myself more than I was talking to Traci about these things, I started looking up some stuff for a paper I have to write and found this quote. I had been trying to tell myself I can't help how my heart feels about this, when clearly that is not the case. For a few years, I have been told you can't help how your heart feels, but really, that isn't true.
I mean think about it. I'm not going to explain why it's not true beause that's something you have to think about. It's something that you will have to wrestle with just like I did.
Why do your standards have to be different from mine?
What is the deal?!
There is something as thinking too much; I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride... unless I fall out and die.
I am SEÑIOR!
Life can get so complicated over one little thing.
But then there is that one person you can talk to.
They listen, and understand, and make you feel better.
I'm kind of weird, I'm not going to deny it.
I'm just learning to embrace that fact.
I seem to earn more friends that way.
This morning was Arley's second bridal shower, and I was late.
Just like last week, but it was cool.
Huzzah, Keebs.
Senior year, I love you.
You are easy, and relaxing.
You give me free time.
Centennial, we are getting better.
I once hated you.
But you have produced some good thigs this week.
This makes me laugh:
Let me just say, I do not stand at the end of the register for my health. Do not look in other directions and ignore me, because actually, I am supposed to help you. You ignoring me hinders my job performance. Listen and respond when I ask you, "Are you ready to check out?"
For some reason, we are ignored. Ignored so much that people are drawn to the center of the front and look around for the open registers. I mean, the people standing in front of the register could not possibly be there to help you check out.
And I don't bag. Don't tell me what to do with your goods. Tell the bagger. That's why he's there, to bag things. I am there to sell them to you.
Of course, they would never ever put your frozen/cold things together in a bag. It's a good thing you ask us to do that. We find that intentionally placing frozen items in different bags makes getting home and seperation groceries more enjoyable. Besides, we don't know what we are doing. I mean, it's not like we were hired for anything like that anyway.
And yes, you have to be 18 to sell beer, and yes, we need your ID.
I'm sorry that the credit card machine isn't working. I mean, next time I won't ESP it to break.
I like working at Kroger. Everyone is nice...for the most part.
29 years ago today
Elvis died
Of drugs
On a toilet.
Long live the king.
Jon Benet Ramsy's killer was caught
In Thailand
On unrelated sex charges
And confessed.
She would have been my age.
It's kinda a long post, but the pictures make it seem really long...but it's not really.
Summer '06 has officially come to an end. Let's view some of my favorite summer pictures, shall we?
So my new schedule:
1. Graphic Design - Chessor (Deb Chess)
2. Physics - Roberts
3. Econ Hon - Kirby / Study Hall - Martin
4. English IV AP - Roberson (K-Ro)
5. Art III/IV - Foley (Foles)
6. Study Hall - Singleton / Gov. Hon - Stice
7. Photography - Chessor (Deb Chess)
Nothing could be more perfect than walking to school with the Anchorman soundtrack playing in the background on the first day of school. Just makes you feel hard core.
My classes are easy.
Nothing could be more perfect than walking home from school with the Ben Folds album playing in the background on the first day of school. Just makes you feel joyous.
I have good friends.
I was excited all day today. This is my last year. I am a senior. Good gracious I am a senior.
Church was really good this morning. The Spences (the other British family from the other church in England) spoke this morning and it was fantastic as well as Darrel. "If you think about Jewish kids..."
I am doing something for Darrel, and if I can say this, I feel special because who'd have thunk it? I never thought I'd be good enough to do anything cool like taking pictures for someone. And my payment? A oneofakind Darrel Girardier designed shirt. I am excited about that.
I discovered that I live right down the road from the newtobeWorley family. And I'm told I can hang whenever, but I'm sure 3:30 in the AM is not an ok time to hang.
The little Worleys and the Morrises (sp?) are pretty cool too. I enjoy their company. They are freaking hilarious.
I love working at Kroger. I love it. Love love love love it. More to come on that later though. It gets it's own post.
Yesterday I went to one of Arley's bridal showers, and I painted them a bowl. We all painted pottery.
I'm running again. It makes me feel good.
Bed. More later.
"You're such a cool person. I was just sitting here so lethargically...numb...then I clicked on your page and it (background, photography, music) made me feel... I love your slick, original style. Don't ever lose it, girl." --Marybeth (a.k.a. Marydeath)
"i'm channeling Michael and he says 'you're fat.'"
"tell him to go bake a fat pie and eat it."
"he says 'you'd like that wouldn't you?'"
Taking stupid pictures in a photobooth at Chuck E. Cheese for a token a snapshot.
Having a birthday for Qwerty, a pipe cleaner sloth, at Chuck E. Cheese with other stuffed animals and random sorts.
Random things like that make my day...even though technically they happened on two different days...I still haven't gone to sleep yet.
In the words of my friend, "I'm going to go read ma book and go to sleep."
A giant terrorist plot has been foiled over there in the ole UK. Out-going flights from England to the US were supposed to have suicide bombers on board carrying liquid explosives. It's apparently linked to Al Qaida, and over 21 people were arrested early this morning in London. The US airport alert level has gone to red, which is the highest, and it's the first time it's ever been done. England airports are even under a warning, and to my understanding that is not something that happens very often. Though there have been arrests, the threat is not over. Airports are crowded with confused flyers. Right now I believe there are no flights going in or out of the UK. The only thing alowed on board planes at the moment are your passport (if need be) and your ID in a clear plastic bag.
I just pray that come October things will be cooled down and we will be able to go over to England to do what the Lord has called us to do.
Well the grams left this morning. Kayla gave me some dinosaurs. It was pretty cool.
I really...really....reeeally don't want to read my summer reading books. Is that horrible of me?
Stay fly.
I've spent the last few hours watching Arctic Monkey interviews. Makes me like them so much more.
I miss people.
My grams broke her arm. Maybe I should offer her twenty bucks and a weeks stay at my house like she did for me the summer before eighth grade.
I got a new lunch box today. You will be amazed.
I got a hair cut. Kinda looks the same. You will not be amazed.
I don't work until Friday.
I still have to read. I really don't want to. I'll read Sparknotes.
Everyone creates drama and is a part of it sometime. Even you. The catch is not to live in it. Get out as soon as you can. I'm tired of being stupid to try and be cool. I don't care whether or not people like me anymore. I mean, I'm me. There's nothing else I can offer. Just me.
As I drive to work or anywhere else, it feels like I am a part of the earth--or at least really living. It makes me stop and look around me. To remember there is more on this planet than my life.
I got something off my chest that I've needed to do all summer. I've grown so close to a friend that if anything was to happen to her I would fall down dead. Dead. I find that whatever I do we will always be friends. That is so hard for me to comprehend.
I'm glad that I have living examples all around me to show that I don't have to be stupid. That I can just be myself and no drama will be created. There are so many that as I sit here and think of them, I am astounded. That's a good thing.
Allie, Kara, and I hung out tonight and it was a necessary closer to summer. For those who fight the school year, it's ok. It's just school. Nine months later it will be summer again. I am a senior this year. Hoorah. This is my last year in high school. Good gracious. I cannot wait to get to college and learn things specifically just for what I want to do. Not any of this nonsense like weights/kinesiology or physics.
We went to my old stomping work grounds. Chuck E. Cheese. I can officially say that I do not miss it at all. The food is mm mm delicious though.
Kroger is so good. It's so easy. And people talk to me. And they are nice. And it pays more. I love working at Kroger.
Then we played ding dong ditch at Tyler's house because his car door was locked and we couldn't sneak in. And then we went to It's a Grind where we met a new friend Josh--all thanks to Bogart...and Lempkin. It's been a while since I just talked to a stranger about random things. Last time was in the begining of summer with hideously great towel robe things.
Schedule:
First Semester
Study Hall - Kemp(y)
Physics - Roberts
Econ Hon - The Kirby
Eng. IV AP - Roberson
Art III/IV - Foley
Pre-Cal - Long (going to be dropped)
Des./Dig. - Chessor (again!)
Second Semester
Weights/Kinesiology - Gregory
Physics - Roberts
Study Hall - Singleton (who?)
Eng. IV AP - Roberson
Art III/IV - Foley
Pre-Cal - Long (going to be dropped)
Des./Dig. - Chessor
I am making a different "Who Am I?" book for England. Something I am looking forward to immensely. Something I will like through and through.
I have so much I feel I need to accomplish within the next week. I mean, I really don't. But I do, I do.
The End.
that makes a record 4 times in 1.5 weeks--let alone one summer.
Well I got the old schedule today. Good news for me, no math this year. I am dropping it. Goooood. I mean, I am great at math. I almost enjoy it. Just not calculus type math. Plus the teacher sucks to the eighth power.
Even better news: I have weights/kinesiology first period second semester. I'm going to be in the weight room...lifting weights...everyday...for a whole semester. I will be buff. Oh, and by "Even better," I meant "Idiotic."
Soooo...right now I need to find a class I can be shoved into so I don't have to take math.
I have so much to do. Adios.
well the air broke for the 3rd time this summer. poop. but it was fixed this morning. yay.
the grams and aunt and cousin are here. yay.
i think i am getting a hair cut today. yay.
i have 600 pages to read before school. poop.
i made a slide show. yay.
