swing

Last night I went to church with Lizzy, Christen (sp?), Tyler, and Emily and it was awesome. There was this guy from Jamaica (originally from Haiti) and his testimony and sermon were amazing. He spoke on 1 Timothy 4:12.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Earlier this year I struggled with why adults don't listen to the younger, like myself. I couldn't quite understand because I felt like they had forgotten what it was like to be younger, that we aren't stupid crowd followers. And I've come to realize that it's because we don't really set a good example half the time, and even if and when we do, there are others who act so obnoxiously that that's what the adults assume the rest of us to be like. It's quite understandable. I've already found myself doing that with the middle school younglings, and I love it when they astound me and make me remember, that yes, we mature with age, but our immiturity doesn't necessarily reflect upon our IQ or our observations. Because, face it-- we are always amazed when some one younger than us does something better or knows more than we do, and they do set an example.

He spoke on how we speak, how we love, how we live in faith, and purity, and it was like a week of camp rolled into a 30-45 minute sermon. He was saying thing that I already knew, and had already been thinking I need to do, but I was only thinking half heartedly. It's reaffirming to hear some one else tell me I need to do something. It makes it feel as if there is more verity in it.

I'm going to be honest. This year was the hardest year of my life, no exaggeration, and it was also the farthest I've been from God. I guess I was angry. Not really with God, but I was angry. I didn't understand why I was in the school that I was; why my grandfather had to get sick, better, sick again, and die; how my family reacted to my grandfather's illness and death; why my dad had a really bad job; how my family could go through so many cars; how my friends can do, say, or think what they did; how family friends can turn into family enemies; how I could be so apathetic towards school work; and how my family can have the financial issues that we do.

It all just hardened my heart, and I really couldn't think of anyone but myself.

But luckily I have good friends who can snap me out of it and remind me why I live...not that I was suicidal or anything...because I wasn't.

Updates in my life:
*I have been listening to the Backstreet Boys. I have fallen in love all over again.
*I went to Pinky Park and cherished how much I love to swing.
*Traci and I are planning our sleep over, and are excited to the max. We've not hung out in ages.
*I hate working at Chuck E Cheese. It's not really my thing, but I plan to stick it out for a little while.
*Still anxious about my England application. I'm just going to pray.