"The Beauty of Grace is that it Makes Life Not Fair"

So I constantly think I've got this whole following God thing down, but then something happens, I'm thrown off course and I feel like I'm lost with no way home.

A lot goes on in my life that I don't really care to share. I'm not a sharing person when it comes to my life. I keep it to myself. And it's not like I'm about to change that on here, so don't get your hopes up.

I just find myself saying that certain things aren't fair, but in the back of my mind, I understand, thank God it's not. I don't mean that in a cheesy, "Aw, my friend got this and I didn't" kind of thing. I mean that in a "I can't do anything about this, and I'm so confused" kind of way. There's a constant acceleration of annoying thoughts that go through my head that make me feel like I live the hard life. Financially, emotionally. I mope around and don't do anything all day. I know there are people worse off than me, but for some reason, I just don't care.

Frankly, it's pathetic, and it disgusts me. Forget that.

So it's time to practice the patience that I don't have (it's a virtue you know).

On another note, I just spent $84.04 at Borders. For the life of me how did that happen?! Oh... wait... because I wasted twelve of those dollars since I had to buy the hardback version for school because they were sold out of paperback, and it's my fault for not getting it sooner. Crap. My purchase included:

Kite Runner: Kahled Hosseini (obviously the school book)
Captivating: John and Stasi Eldredge
Waking the Dead: John Eldgredge
Dead Bunnies: Brian Currie

So I've got loads of reading ahead of me, including How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon D. Fee and Douglas Stuart of which I borrowed from Jacob Strother.

And apparently I didn't have to work today, instead I have to work tomorrow... what a pleasant surprise.

I'm out.