Depression

It sets.
One more day.
Sad.
Tomorrow will be good.
Still sad.
I will miss my friends.
My best friends.

:(

Teesside, England, UK.

Eat it, suckas.

Anyway, this trip has been better than last year even. I mean, it's a little more hectic, but it's easier to talk to people I already know people.

It's beautiful.

My host family is so cool. I really enjoy staying with them. In fact, I will be pretty sad to leave.

But really, I should be here next year, so it will be sad, but I will be back, and that should keep me from crying huge emo tears.

I am seriously not emo though.

Yes, it is 3:21 AM.

No, I am not going to sleep this morning.
Really?
Yes.
Crap.
See you tomorrow.
Totally.

The Hardest Part is Getting Started

Bring on the caffine.

Oh my God, I am going to England tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Dreams and Wishes

Are they supposed to be realistic or not?
If they are too realistic, they are no fun and easy to achieve.
If they are too fantastical, they fill your head with nonsense.

But what is the point in having a dream if it's realistic?
Is it safe to have a dream that's not?
What is the point in having a wish if it's not realistic?
Can you get lost in wishes.
Is it comforting or scary?

Do you believe in them?

Struggle!

"He must become greater; I must become less."
-John 3:30

"That kind of myopic, 'it's all about me' vision, is the crippling by-product of not knowing who He is and who we are not [...]"
-Louie Giglio

Sometimes I can be a real human and I make things about me. It's not about me. It's never been about me. I'm just a dot in the story line of the world. No one will remember me when I'm gone. I'm just a human. Sometimes I'm reminded about how much it's not about me and I feel like a real jerk.

It's like fighting a bear, and I always lose, and I end up with scratches on my face and a missing limb. It kinda sucks.

I Miss People.

I'm tired of working.
I'm tired of school.
I'm tired of cleaning.
I'm tired of boredom.
I'm tired of internet.
I'm tired of reading.
I'm tired of writing.
I'm tired of editing.
I'm tired of sitting.
I'm tired of painting.
I'm tired of procrastincating.
I'm tired of emailing.


I miss people.
I miss Kara.
I miss hanging out.
I miss Ashley.
I miss talking.
I miss Lizzy.
I miss faces.
I miss Micah.
I miss voices.
I miss Anna.
I miss jokes.
I miss Colby.
I miss stories.
I miss Allie.

I miss life.


I suppose I really have time. I just choose to spend it horribly.
I have a lot to say, but not enough time to say it.
I'll save it for another day.

God is Pretty Much Amazing

my england trip is paid for.

wait what?!

yes. yes it is.