I feel that my blog is highly inadequate compared to mitch's... something will have to be done about this...

It's Just Been One of Those Days.

One of those days that through everything that I do, God teaches me something new and wonderful. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long one.

This morning in our Launch session (for those of you who don't know, Launch is the name of the gap year program[me] I am a part of at All Saints Church), we were talking about the Lifeshapes. You might not know what those are--I didn't. In fact at first, they were quite possibly the most annoying things I'd ever loaned my ears to. To this day, I still find the triangle really annoying... but that's a different story. Today, we learned about the square. A square has how many sides? If you can't remember, revert back to your 4 year-old-self and remember the red square, the blue circle, and the yellow triangle. That's right, it's got four. To save me the hassle of explaining what it looks like and you the frustration of not undersatanding, I have drawn us all a picture.

Now, thanks to Facebook's Graffiti application, we are well equipped with not only a stunning visual but also a vibrant piece of art. This morning we only covered what you see as D1 and D2 with a slight hint of L1 and L2 because you really can't learn about one without understanding the other. This is what appears to be the walk of a Christian. I didn't get it at first either, don't worry. D1 stands for discipleship on the first level L1 for leadership. You can't get to leadership until you've gone all the way around the outer D's. D1 is the begining of faith when everything is really exciting. It's full of kairos moments (moments when God speaks to you and it changes your life) and only kairos moments. It's downright blissful. You are completely incompetent, but you are also so lost in your enthusiasm that doesn't bother you at all.

Now D2... That's where it begins to get a bit viscious. D2 is when you have to respond and deal with the Kairos moments of D1. D2 is when you have lost all of your enthusiasm and you aren't any more confident or competent. This is where most Christians say, "Woa, God... what am I doing? I don't remember signing up for this. I'm gonna go back to D1 because at least I understand that life." Most Christians don't make it past D2... in fact, most Christians don't even make it to the middle of D2. They just give up. They don't understand that they are supposed to persevere and move on to D3, D4, and so on. D3 is when you start seeing the glory. Your enthusiasm is back and it's based on the knowledge you've gained through persevering.

As we were discussing, I found that I went through D1 before I moved here. I had a whole year to be excited to be coming here--to be responding to what God told me. Then, two weeks after I got here, I fell off of D1 and I was in D2. I'm still in D2. I'm sticking it out though. You could say I don't have a choice so that's nothing special, but this is where I let you know how wrong you are. There's nothing keeping me here. I can buy a plane ticket home at any time because I'm not under a signed contract. I could go back to the D1 comforts in Franklin tonight (if I could find a flight home). I can't wait for D3. I want to see God's glory.

That's just one thing I learned.

Randomly through my boredom and my Facebook addiction, I stumbled across a website called Boundless. It's one of the coolest things I've ever found on the web. It's a Christian webzine with loads of articles written by different people all compiled into an online library with topics from being single to college to careers to sex to politics. It's not just a blatent you should or shouldn't do this, but it explains the stances it takes. It's kindof a smaller scale apologetics. There was a good featured article about not everyone being called to wait until they were 30+ to get married. I never like when people freak out about their friends getting married to young. It's not their choice, and it's not their right to get angry about. There were also articles on what I've been dealing with and wondering, and I learned new things. It's worth a look.

I leave you with one last thing.

Last night the sermon was on praying heaven down. I was certain that it was going to be the most boring sermon I'd ever heard in my life. I was positive I had already heard everything that I was about to hear. I was sure that I was going to count the seconds until Lindsay stopped talking. But... it wasn't. I hadn't. I didn't. "We don't take prayer seriously." I can't think of a more powerful statement than that. Honestly? Honestly she's right. She wasn't talking about our posture or the somber attitude that normally goes along with prayer. She was talking about our attitude. I can't think of a time before I came hear that I actually thought God was listening or that my little prayer would make any difference, so I used to have the most flippant attitude towards prayer. When you know and pray as you know that God listens and prayer is the most important lifeline, great things happen. You might have to wait for them, but when you put an effort into your prayer life you certainly notice the difference. I can't wait to see God's kingdom come into the lives of my friends, Stockton, and Nashville, and until I do, I'm going to keep praying for that revolution to come.

Ketchup

Things in my life have turned slightly upside down for a bit I guess. I am okay with 2/3 of that, but not with the other 1/3.

Dave didn't get the Associate Minister position... that means he, Caroline, and little Daniel will be moving sometime after Easter. This makes me incredibly sad because Caroline is my mentor, and Dave is the object of our (those of us at the church) humour. Alan was officially liscenced to the Stockton Parish Church, which means there will be a new Alan/Dave within the coming weeks. I'm glad the spikey haired man did not get it. He freaked Michael and I out. Just waiting to see who it's gonna be now.

Well I'll be living at the Farishes' starting tomorrow night for a week... so... that's going to be new. I will end up living with them after Easter (as the Wakes have extended the offering of their home until then) as the other people I would have been living with have a cat... to which I am allergic. I know that some of you will say, "Oh but you spent the night at my house, and I have a cat!" to which I will reply "I'm slightly alright with one-off evenings with cats, but even then my nose is stuffy and my throat is itchy... so a whole term with cats is no good." And my other option was Dave and Caroline... and they are moving sometime then... Sooo I'm left with the Farishes' house. Should be good fun though.

Andy's coming for nearly 3 weeks in February. I am pretty freaking excited about that. I simply cannot wait. It'll be nice to have a slice of home (he'll be bringing stuff my mum sent me) and it'll be LOVELY to have him here!! He'll be here for Valentine's Day and my birthday!! :) I think Andy and I are gonna take a trip to London, so that will be neat! Mitch is in England... he's down south so we'll probably meet him there one day.

For my gap year, I've finally figured out what I want to do with it... (only taken me 2 1/2 months, but oh well) I'm gonna clean houses... yep that's right. Help clean houses for those who have a genuine need... If they are busy with uni, single mum, ill, or just old. I like cleaning, so this would be good. I got my first house on mondays... and it's actually with Jenna. So we'll see how that goes.

I ran round Preston Park today... that park goes back way further than I thought it did. Today was the first day in a while that it hasn't rained. It was sunny and fairly nice out.

I'm in love with Sufjan Stevens and Kings of Leon.

Life in England really is bizar...

Update

Well life in the past couple of days has been a little rough, but at the moment, things are absolutely great.

I've started journaling... it's half prayer journal half straight up journal. It's good, and relieves loads of stress and frustration that I just can't get out any other way.

I'm on the path to forgiving the U.S. postal service. I've gotten 3 out of four boxes, and all but one (that I know of) card have made their way to people in America.

Life is just getting back on track. Still waiting to see what's up with Eastwood (that being my laptop), but I've worked out computing and such. Things are about to get really busy, but I'm okay with that. Everything is starting back up after term like the clubs and meetings. Andy gets here the morning of the 9th (of February,so I'm really looking forward to that as well.

Well... of to Embassy.

It's odd, but Eastwood's little malfunction has been really good for me. Maybe not for my pocketbook, but for me, it's been grand.

sigh.

My laptop power cord connection thing is broke.
It could cost me a fortune to fix.

I really hate my life right now.

(this blog brought to you by: The Farish Computer)

I know I haven't really said much lately... but... I really don't have much to say.

It is officially 2008 as of yesterday.... good things and bad things like every other year, but this year I've felt more blessed... and on New Year's Eve I just felt peace that this is home for the next 7 months. It is. I've started embracing that fact instead of beating with a stick.

I still miss Tennessee and my friends, but this is where I live now, and I need to be putting my all into here and now, not partially then and partially there.

I think I have to move this month... to a different house... with a different family. I am not at peace with that. I don't want to move... but at the same time I do... but then again, I really don't. I'm comfortable here in my room... and it's a stone's throw away from the church... unlike all of my other options... but then... outside of my room I'm not comfortable. I know that's partially my fault, if not all my fault. It's not easy living in someone else's home.

The postal service owes me Christmas presents. 4 Boxes of them, and I'm angry, frustrated, and slightly depressed at their lack of service. I don't care about the stuff inside at all. I just want the boxes. I just want the comfort of knowing they aren't lost in the mail and a waste of money. And I have to move... so I want them before I have a new address. U.S. Postal Service, I am not impressed.