Well I feel so broke up

I want to go home.



I have random fits where I just want to go home... and to be honest... I always really want to go home... but I love it here so much, it's just that sometimes my love for home outweighs my love for here. I know this is where God wants me, so I stay, and I really do love it. I hate almost everything about the actual living here bit, but I love the people and the scenery.

I probably wrote my mom the most depressing email earlier tonight... Lindsay Browning is awesome.



My boyfriend is positively amazing... He let me watch tv via skype... I got to watch Cash Cab and about 20 minutes of Bear Grylls... and in between those, there was a random show on how to's... really helped my home sickness and my bad attitude in general. It's nice to have some comfort from home even if it's blurry and not the best quality... even just listening to American tv is nice. Tv here isn't the greatest...
how to make paintballs and diamonds... and the best episode of Man Vs. Wild.

In case you didn't know, I'm kinda dating someone right now. Well... not kinda, I am, and have been for the past few months. His name is Andy. Yes, it's serious, and yes, I really miss him.

So today has been a good day... as far as Thanksgivings go though... probably the worst in my life. I miss my family a lot. I miss the Autumnness of Thanksgiving, and the general thankful attitude that everyone has (you should have that attitude all the time, I know). I miss the buttload of food.... tuuuurkey! I will not however miss the leftovers.... Hooray!

This morning in the Launch meeting we learned that we are created as spiritual beings, and listening to God should be really easy... and I've found that it really is if a little effort is put forth. We tried this journaling technique.. it was awkward at first, but once you get going, it's nearly impossible to stop, and you learn so much.

My momma called me on the phone today. Padre was sitting right next to her, and it was really nice to hear their voices... so actually... today has been a really good Thanksgiving...

I'm gonna edit pics and put them up later tonight.

"What's a Canadian geek?"

...the same as a British geek only Canadian... duh, Hannah...

Well... another busy week in my life. I feel a little ice breaker is in need before we just delve in.

Micah's helpful tips for survival for those visiting England:

1. Cars drive on the left side of the road. People walk backwards.
2. Eel pie does not taste like sushi. It doesn't even taste like food.
3. Mind your head.
4. Do not flaunt your straight teeth. They get quite angry.
5. Refer to everyone you meet as a character from Harry Potter. I hear Brits love that.
6. Tell all your British friends how much better the U.S. is. Shoot fireworks off on the 4th of July (and 5th of November) and remind them what 1776 means across the pond.

Well... I'm still living, ...so... thank you, Micah.

I've learned a bit about the churches around here... and unfortunately in some of the most needed places, the church has given up or just become apathetic towards its community. It's extremely irritating. Seriously... in Stockton, there was about 5 churches on one street within 3 minutes walking distance from each other... and they are just dead. Hannah said she wrote one of them to see if we could work a kids club there (there are so many just roaming that I saw), and they said they just wanted to stick to their Sunday morning very traditional, stuffy services.

What? Why, when you have so much potential in the community, would you not take advantage of such an opportunity? It's excruciatingly mind blowing. I really think that they need a come to Jesus Kairos moment because they have obviously forgotten what it's all about.

I've been reading a book called what you didn't learn from your parents about sex and it's a really good read. It's written by Matthew Paul Turner (yes, the guy that started XXXChurch.com) and it's honest. It makes you think; it makes you reflect; It forces you to be honest with yourself. It answers questions that people are afraid to ask in the church. I don't see why sex and the like is such a taboo in the church when everyone thinks about it in their life. Obviously, there are proper forums for such a discussion, but why isn't it brought up more than in three day conferences (that happen rarely) about waiting until marriage and porn is bad speeches when that's not even the half of it? We're naturally curious (that's how God made us), and since the church has done a rubbish job teaching the subject, we're forced to find answers from anyone or anything that might give us an answer- regardless its truth (or lack thereof).

Anyway... I'm off my soapbox now.

The new Killers cd (Sawdust) is fantastic.

I missed home Saturday. I suppose you could say that I was even mildly depressed. Seriously. I prayed about it, and I was given answers almost immediately. Since I've been here I've really seen the power of prayer and just how much it works.

I just got a call from Mitch Miller via Skype... that was a nice conversation...

I just remembered something on my street that has to do with helicopters, police, and a prison... but it will have to wait as it's two in the morning. I've got an extremely busy day tomorrow; I'm going to bed. Pictures soon as well, I promise.

WELL.... I'm in England.

I love my life, and I'm settling in well. I definitely know this is where God wants and has wanted me to be. I'm just surrounded by encouragement from my leaders... or bosses... whichever you want to call them. I prefer leaders cause I like leaders better because I'd rather follow instead of being a slave.

I'm a little bit frustrated with life at the moment though. Just with the fact that it's hard to make friends when you don't have a good social network like school or work... I suppose Launch is my job, which makes it more frustrating when not many people come to church in the first place. I love everyone at All Saints though. They're really welcoming, and super nice.

I miss knowing everyone like I did back home though. That's probably the hardest I guess... having to meet everyone at once.

Tim and Lindsay are excellent youth workers, and they are really awesome people in general. They have really big hearts and I can see how bad they want change in the area, and it makes me long for change as well. Hannah is amazing with all that she does. She's got so many projects to be working on, and still have discipleship with Michael and I (which I enjoy thoroughly). They're all just so busy trying to impact Teesside and just giving their all, and it's just really refreshing to see people truly living out what they believe. It's also really frustrating just to see so much of their effort seeming to be thrown down the drain, but I can tell and really feel God moving in this place, and I'm just terribly excited.

It's a whole different culture here... you'd expect it to be the same as America... and for some things it is, but at the same time, it's really not. Church here isn't as geared towards those in the church, but rather getting people to come to church... at least that's how it is at All Saints. I'm sure though, that you can't have Bible studies when no one's really coming consistently each week. I think for the most part the only thing focused internally is Sunday morning and evening worship. Everything else is more outreaching and evangelistic. And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, it's just different. It makes me realize that I'm not going to be spoon fed like I was back home. I'm going to have to stop being lazy and start learning to used a knife and a fork on my own.

I like that I can walk anywhere I need to go. The other day I walked to Yarm and back (only a 30 min walk one way) by myself just to explore and visit Ste in his workplace. And if I'm ever in a pinch, I can just walk to Tesco by myself. I've been to Tesco about six or 7 times in the past week. Saw fireworks last Monday as it was Guy Fawkes day. I'm sure I spelled that wrong, but I'm not in the mood to correct myself. Went to an American diner... it might just be me, but... we don't serve mint burgers or something weird like that. They had some very unAmerican things on the menu.

As for Launch and what I'm doing there; Michael, Hannah, and I have had 2 assemblies so far. One at Bewlyey in Billingham and one at St. Mary's School in Longnewton. They've gone well, and I really like doing them. Mondays I have Launch discipleship and Fuse. Fuse is just a club for the younger kids, and it's probably my favorite so far. Wednesdays I've got Big Ted, Powerpack, a Christian Union at Egglescliffe school (being called Engage to plug for the church event wednesday nights) and Engage... not always every Wednesday. Big Ted is with toddlers and babies. I'm helping with puppets tomorrow. Powerpack is an after school club for the kids that go to St. Mary's and it's a lot of fun as well. I can't wait to meet Byron tomorrow. Thursdays I have Launch team time, and other than that, it's my day off. Fridays I have Toddlers and 360. 360 is basically the same as Fuse for older kids, but not as structured. It may not seem like much, but there are always random things thrown in like assemblies and other church events.

Last Saturday I helped set up, serve tea/coffee, and tear down for a worship workshop that lasted all day. This Saturday I am helping with Amy Burns' new project called G:em and they are having an event... aaaall day. I will be there 8:15 am-10:30 pm (if I'm lucky).

Anyway, I am bored of writing this post. Hopefully I won't have to play catch up like this and will have more time to blog. Pictures and such to come later.

I'm just being honest.

I'm actually really sad to be leaving tomorrow... this is such a foreign feeling right now... I always thought that I'd be so happy. This isn't the room I'm going to sleep in anymore... my family won't be the family I come home to anymore... I won't have my dog to spaz at me anymore... I won't have friends calling me anymore... It's all so mildly depressing.

Sorry for the downer.