i am broken.

my grandfather has bone cancer in his spine.

i love my papa...i've known him forever. he's really the only papa i have. i mean, i have my dad's side, but they don't like my mom, so i never see them. it would suck so much to lose him now...not now...please not now...

it hurts so bad.

it's not fair but i praise God anyway.

look me in the eyes

ever look some one in the eyes? i don't ever do it much. it feels weird. it makes me wonder where i look when i am talking to some one. then i think about it when i am talking to them, so then i move my eyes and it is totally un-natural. looking some one in the eyes is kinda akward. it feels like they are looking into your soul and reading all of your thoughts which is the last thing i want anyone to be doing. like they've found the one hole they can look through--like a knot in a fence, and it's scary.

sometimes...i like it when i look into some one's eyes. like when having a deep conversation. it makes me feel like they are listening and care about what i have to say. i like it when it is random and you just look over at some one and your eyes meet. it's kind of like a silent conversation.

i like to make people smile. when people smile and it's because of something i said or did, it makes me smile. i don't care if it was something witty or something like falling on my face in front of 50 people. embarrassing stories are always the best. those are the most fun stories to tell. your own of course. it's not fun to tell others. but having people laugh at you and you laugh at yourself with them is just so great.

making friends is the best. especially when you realize they are your friend. instead of an aquaintance, you are upgraded to friend. mint.

england was so long ago, but it was only 5 days ago. it's so weird.

England

here are more england pictures from the actual film camera. don't think i am trying to be all artsy. i just like these pictures. there's alot and half are pretty boring, but i like 'em anyway:






amy-jo looks high and tyler looks as if he must be in love.












working hard, mitch.






















it says watson by the door. ah sweetness.






















sumo wrestling in church..who'da thunk it?


she wishes she was an angel...

pictures are worth words

i've decided no story. just pictures. there are many of them. MANY. and this is just my digital camera...




kara and lauren




i am angry but i forgot why






gangstas














dancin' in the streets


dan the man that certainly can


come to me


batman begins




clinton


church window






best driver in england award


angry kara


happy kara


bench at church










chums




look at kara's face










please God no


my friend allen












rubbish bin










secret garden




the beast sleeps












the kilt




black mail


when scarves attack


what a bunch of girls


me an will





then came the end. the end.