Because... Bon Voyage.

I know I promised you something deep, so here I am to deliver... hopefully.

I drive to school for forty minutes and back another forty minutes everyday. That leaves a lot of dead air in my life, so I decided to think and reflect and talk to God because an hour and twenty minutes out of my day everyday is no joke. That's roughly 6 hours and forty minutes every week. That's about 4 days and 9.5 hours this semester give or take for days off.

John said something this week after our college class movie night that kind of hit me hard. He was talking about Scott Drennan who lives in St. John, and he said he told him, "If you ever get so jaded that you don't appreciate this anymore, you need to come home."

As I've been driving, I've felt really convicted about the time I spent in England. I felt that I didn't live up to what God wanted me to do. I felt like I got so jaded. Not only did I get jaded, I stayed that way.

Kathryn Belmont once talked about how she spent her uni classes wishing the days away. Counting down the numbers until she graduated. She said that God was showing her how to delight in everyday and what it gives.

As I've been driving I've been listening to music and I don't think it's coincidence the songs Matthias (my ipod) plays. I heard Relient K's The Lining is Silver of their new e.p.

Well I found a list of flaws, that I saw in myself and other people, and I threw it away because... Bon Voyage.
Isn't nice to know, that the lining is silver.
Isn't nice to know, that we're golden.
I found a love in me. I always somehow knew that it existed, it just needed to be set free.

I've missed England so much in the past month, it's unreal. I wrote earlier on here that I feel like I'll never be happy with where God puts me. That I'll want to move all of the time. As I've been driving, I realised, that although I miss England, I still love it here.

Isn't it nice to know the lining is silver? I realised that I needed to go home to appreciate what England offers. God has been teaching me to appreciate everyday and enjoy everything. Enjoy home, and enjoy England at the same time. Isn't it nice to know we're golden? I felt convicted about all those times I counted down the months, but not guilty. God is showing me that although I may have messed up, it's not the end. I'll have everyday as another chance.

Andy and I were talking the other day about our future. I told him that he needs to know that I'm not going to live the normal life. I don't feel that's something God has called me to do. I won't live my life revolved around money. I won't live my life around comfort and world security. I won't let these two things dictate my life. I want to live in God's security. I do feel that eventually God will call me back to England. I don't know when, but I know it's not now. I think I freaked him out a little bit, but he's getting there. ;)