That's right. Also, I'm not stupid, and neither are the rest of us who go there. Just in case some were wondering.
I'm really excited to see Andy in less than a month. I can't even wait.
I really hate stepping on snails. It's a really sickening sound to hear their shells crunch. I've done it barefoot once.
I miss Hannah Jackson, and I miss Hannah Williams being around.
I want to be married already.
I know I promised you something deep, so here I am to deliver... hopefully.
I drive to school for forty minutes and back another forty minutes everyday. That leaves a lot of dead air in my life, so I decided to think and reflect and talk to God because an hour and twenty minutes out of my day everyday is no joke. That's roughly 6 hours and forty minutes every week. That's about 4 days and 9.5 hours this semester give or take for days off.
John said something this week after our college class movie night that kind of hit me hard. He was talking about Scott Drennan who lives in St. John, and he said he told him, "If you ever get so jaded that you don't appreciate this anymore, you need to come home."
As I've been driving, I've felt really convicted about the time I spent in England. I felt that I didn't live up to what God wanted me to do. I felt like I got so jaded. Not only did I get jaded, I stayed that way.
Kathryn Belmont once talked about how she spent her uni classes wishing the days away. Counting down the numbers until she graduated. She said that God was showing her how to delight in everyday and what it gives.
As I've been driving I've been listening to music and I don't think it's coincidence the songs Matthias (my ipod) plays. I heard Relient K's The Lining is Silver of their new e.p.
Well I found a list of flaws, that I saw in myself and other people, and I threw it away because... Bon Voyage.
Isn't nice to know, that the lining is silver.
Isn't nice to know, that we're golden.
I found a love in me. I always somehow knew that it existed, it just needed to be set free.
I've missed England so much in the past month, it's unreal. I wrote earlier on here that I feel like I'll never be happy with where God puts me. That I'll want to move all of the time. As I've been driving, I realised, that although I miss England, I still love it here.
Isn't it nice to know the lining is silver? I realised that I needed to go home to appreciate what England offers. God has been teaching me to appreciate everyday and enjoy everything. Enjoy home, and enjoy England at the same time. Isn't it nice to know we're golden? I felt convicted about all those times I counted down the months, but not guilty. God is showing me that although I may have messed up, it's not the end. I'll have everyday as another chance.
Andy and I were talking the other day about our future. I told him that he needs to know that I'm not going to live the normal life. I don't feel that's something God has called me to do. I won't live my life revolved around money. I won't live my life around comfort and world security. I won't let these two things dictate my life. I want to live in God's security. I do feel that eventually God will call me back to England. I don't know when, but I know it's not now. I think I freaked him out a little bit, but he's getting there. ;)
but you should vote for it anyway. I need money for college.
Vote Please.
Andy came and surprised me last weekend. He's so sweet. We didn't get any pictures because I was being ornery and wouldn't let him. We had our first anniversary September third. I love him :) I can't wait to see him again.
I got to talk to Tim Wye for a few minutes today... yesterday? I don't know. Anyway, I was so glad to talk to him because he is one of the people I miss most.
School's good. Target's good. Life's good.
I looked at my schedule and Fall break is actually a Monday or Tuesday. I was in the wrong month.
I've gotten through the first week of school and my job at Target, and I feel very accomplished. Being a Freshman, I'm a little concerned about all the deadlines, but I'm going to be all over them so I don't have to worry.
I turned on my phone from England yesterday and looked through my address book and I got really sad. I miss Eaglescliffe... and Stockton... and Newcastle. I miss everyone and I wish I could see them. I need a phone card so I can call them.
That's called a weekend, College.
I start school tomorrow morning, and I'm thoroughly excited. It's only English, but hey, it's my major. I also start Target for real tomorrow. 5-10.
I had orientation today at Target. I really think that I will like working there.
Also, I'm going to Columbia this year. It's annoying trying to get everything together.
into my pillow.
I've been in Arkansas for the past couple of days. It's been fun seeing my family. I don't think I could live here though. At least, not in the Little Rock area. I really do love my family. I really do miss my grandpa.
Also, life has seemed a lot more real lately. I don't expect you to understand that, but it's really refreshing. We watch so much life through a screen (tv, movie, computer, etc) that I start thinking through a filter in my head. I'm just ready for life to come at me. I'm ready for anything.
Lizzy called to say hello today. I liked that. People don't really do that anymore.
Isn't he cute? I found him by the side of the road one day.
He came home about a month ago to see me after I got back. It's awesome just to spend everyday with someone you love. We made some backgammon boards (tack-day nard in Farsi) and they are way cooler than your backgammon board.
Lizzy and I got pedicures on Saturday. My first ever. I can say that I'll probably never do it again by myself. It's not something I'd ever do on a regular basis, but it's fun to be girly with your friends.
I've been hanging out with Sarah which I always enjoy. We went swimming with her mom and we also saw Mama Mia. I have to say that it's really fun and I loved it.
I'm going to Murfreesboro tomorrow with Traeface and Sara.
I've made more of an effort to hang out with friends these past few weeks. I don't know why, but I have a fear of committing to hanging out with people in case a better offer comes up (and it usually does). Committing to anything really. I'm getting over that fear.
REAL LIFE FEARS I'VE HAD IN THE PAST FEW DAYS*:
Zombies
Clowns
Zombie Clowns
Serial Killers
*this is not a joke
Sometimes I get extremely frustrated.
And sometimes, I eat sharks and hunt zombies. Simultaneously.
I've been home for a few weeks now.
I miss everyone in England terribly, but I'm SO happy to be home. It's been really hard to get in the Spirit, but slowly I can feel it moving here.
Michael's been here for a week or so, and Tim and Hannah come today! Bam! I'm so freaking excited.
I'm growing up to be amish because every computer I have touched this past 8 months has turned to stone. Litterally*.
In the past couple of days, I've heard "You ruin everything!" and "You just don't get me!" come out of Erins mouth. You say, "Don't be silly Meaghan; that's normal." To that I say, "She's only 7."
Also, my mum will be here a week from yesterday. That means 6 days. Which means I'll be home in 14.
I really miss my computer.
*Not really
I fell by the wayside
I fell on my knees
Crying, why was I so hard to please?
I stood at the crossroads
Took a long look at me
Sometimes you don't know where you're from til you leave
And I've been out there searching
For a place where I belong
And on my way I heard my song
Let it sing me home
Sun on my shoulders and the wind at my back
Bound and determined to get back on track
To where the heart is
Where it's been all along
Sometimes you don't know what you've got til it's gone
Gone gone gone
And I've been out there searching
For a place where I belong
And on my way I heard my song
Let it sing me home
And I've been out there searching
For a place where I belong
And on my way I heard my song
Let it sing me home
Sing Me Home | Tim McGraw
(For only 20 more days).
I've been reading a lot lately... some very good, some bad- but I like reading.
Also, I watched the Lake House. So good. I want to hate Keanu Reeves (sp?) because everybody does... but really, I don't see anything wrong with his acting. Though he was a bit over the top in Much Ado About Nothing.
