I'ma Miss This

They're running out like the French!

So everyone wants to hang out before I leave, and they all want to hang out at the same time... choose a different day, people... but do it soon cause my days in this country are numbered (11)!

I can't hang out this Wednesday (24), Friday (26), Saturday (27), Sunday (28), next Monday (29), Tuesday (30), Thursday (1), or Friday (2)... and obviously not saturday the third as I am leaving that day.

13 Days.

It's like waiting for Christmas.

What the?!

This really pisses me off.. not that Dumbledore was gay... but that she waited this long to say anything. It changes a lot about how I would have viewed/interpreted the last book.

16 Days.

I'm going to England.
I'm counting down.
I'm so excited.
I'm gonna miss my friends.
I'm gonna miss my family.
I'm going to England.

You'd think

...that by now I would know how to think before speaking.

Nope. Not really.

Well...

Huh.

Juvenile Delinquent Finch

Facebook graffiti is starting to own my life... and this is how I know that I have waaay too much time on my little idle hands.

The visa app. is in the mail. I find myself not wanting to talk about it. In fact, it makes me so nervous I don't know if I feel like throwing up or crying. Well... come Friday October 19, I should know... so don't ask until then unless you want my tears and/or lunch on your shirt.

I'm pretty confident, but at the same time, I can think of a million things I should have said, done, or not done since that package left my care. I'm gonna try not to think about it... but who am I kidding? I'm a worrier!

Snowden. Check 'em out. I like "Anti Anti," "Black Eyes," and "Between the Rent." They are definitely worth taking a listen.

This for the time being, shall be good Wednesday because it has been a heck of a lot better than yesterday.

Dear little boy in my house right now,

I am so sorry your mother somehow tricked you into coming to my house to sit around with a bunch of old ladies eating tacos that talk loudly. I know what it's like to be told something's going to be fun, only to find that gouging your eyes out is more entertaining. I was tricked a lot as a little child; I feel your pain.

Sincerely,
Weird girl who said hello in the kitchen.

On a different note...

Sometimes I cannot wait.
And sometimes I do not want to go at all.
I'm gonna miss a lot.
Either way.
I'm gonna miss a lot.

I love this band so much.
I can't get enough.

I know.

I know I said I knew a lot of things are gonna be hard in life.
Now I really know.

I was talking to Amy Haywood tonight and she told me she was currently learning that instead of searching for God's will, search for God himself because it's God who reveals his will, not us uncovering it. And how am I supposed to let God reveal something to me when I'm not even paying any attention to him.

And I'm just so impatient. I want everything in my life to just snap to and happen right away. Then I remember I'm only eighteen and I have all my life to struggle and to grow.

And I honestly don't want to work at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Two years ago this month, I was on a journey that I would have never expected to happen. I never thought I would ever leave the country, and there I was going to freaking England. It's hard to believe it's been so long. And this is the point where it actually stings my heart to know that I may not be going again. I mean, I know I miss it, but this is the point where it actually hits me that I'm not there... For the past two years this is the time that I'm counting down the days and the hours until my flight leaves making very last minute preparations... but I don't have a flight to count down to anymore. And it kinda sucks.

Micah is Twenty!

Congratulations on becoming an old man!


I stole that last picture from claire...

Augusta was fun. Nothing extremely eventful happened. The car rides were more than enjoyable. Sarah and Curtis are a couple of my most favorite people. Went to the lake on Saturday and that was good. I like some swimming and I got a tiny tan! Other than that we just chilled and watched some movies. Left Sunday after lunch.

Today... well I suppose technically yesterday... was Micah's birthday. We all went to the Old Spaghetti factory... pictures to come later.

Goin' to Augusta.

Georgia, that is.

My life is a succession of awkward moments.

I'm hoping to be leaving tomorrow for Georgia to visit Andy with Sarah and Curtis tomorrow... we'll see how that goes. I'm kinda anxious... in a bad way because I just had to buy a new phone and I really don't want to spend too much money especially when I'm just about to apply for a new visa... it's all just cutting it uncomfortably close. I think quitting Kroger was a bad idea.

Stupid hindsight.

Some people have asked me how I find the music that I do... to that I answer with an honest, "I don't know." I just get lucky I guess... I browse music sites and listen to all the free music (because I am poor) I find. Well, I'll throw you a bone. Check out "Deep Sea Suit." I like it a lot.

I'm babysitting Celia Tate right now. I've never actually watched real babies... always just kids who are for the most part self sufficient and just need a little attention and a little bit of a guardian angel (because they would practically kill themselves if someone wasn't watching). Babies are kinda cool.

At the moment in my life, I think that God is trying to teach me something... I don't know what it is, but that's probably because I'm not listening... just kinda noticing that he's tugging on my sleeve saying... something. I was reading a couple of friend's blogs, and I was seeing how much God is doing through them, and I think I'm almost listening right now.... I just gotta figure out how to pay attention. Or maybe He's just preparing me for something. I dunno.

Celia Tate (a.k.a. babytate) is the sweetest baby ever. Even when she cries... cause she doesn't have an earsplitting screech... kinda like a muffled gurgle cry. Love it. I like babysitting because it gives my day some purpose. I don't sit around my house all day.

Sarah's birthday was yesterday! Big One Nine... only there's nothing really special about nineteen... other than it being your last year as a teen... you don't get any cool privileges or nothin. But it was cool cause I went to Sarah's house and hung out with her new puppy, Opie, and her family. We went to Shogun(s) afterwards and it was tasty.

And I don't know what it is, but I seriously miss all the Brits lately. Maybe I just miss the homeland...

"Hey Meaghan, wouldnt that be cool if I were in Franklin right now?"

uh... Liz is home! ...and... I'm so excited.

Anxiety!

He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.
Psalm 40:11

He will carry the lambs in his arms close to his heart. Through all my inevitable breakdowns and hysterical fits I throw when talking to God, I fail to notice that God's clutching me to his chest, and I'm too preoccupied to feel his heart beat for me.

But those who hope in the LORD will remember their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not grow faint. [....] So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. [....] I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.
Isaiah 40:31; 41:10; 49:15-16

I'm just gonna take it one day at a time.