CEC Inc.

I slept outside wednesday night. It was cool to wake up and see stars....but then morn came and so did the dew. Gross.

I slept in a tent with sarah last night. We camped out. I beat everyone in Monopoly. I owned all. Curtis was a worthy opponent though.

I went to work with my dad. I ran him a work errund. I felt special. I even got a whole pack of gum for it as well. Wooty Hoooo. I stopped by Blockbuster to see Micah and then by the church to see all of those who went to camp and back as they returned. I missed them. They are fantastic people. Then I went to the Room in the Inn* campus to help clean it up. We did a lot of yard work. I am tired an sore.

Chuck E. Cheese is no fun to work at. I'm going to quit as soon as I find another job.

i'm having a sleepover with her tomorrow night. sweeeeeeeeeeet:


And I finished the night dancing to Wham!'s Wake me up Before You Go Go with my mom.

*Room in the Inn is where every Monday night at my church 12 homeless men come and we eat with them and a couple of adult men spend the night with them in the winter so that they don't have to endure the harsh weather. It's over for the summer, but it'll start promptly in the fall. I expect everyone of you to be there. It's pretty groovy.

swing

Last night I went to church with Lizzy, Christen (sp?), Tyler, and Emily and it was awesome. There was this guy from Jamaica (originally from Haiti) and his testimony and sermon were amazing. He spoke on 1 Timothy 4:12.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Earlier this year I struggled with why adults don't listen to the younger, like myself. I couldn't quite understand because I felt like they had forgotten what it was like to be younger, that we aren't stupid crowd followers. And I've come to realize that it's because we don't really set a good example half the time, and even if and when we do, there are others who act so obnoxiously that that's what the adults assume the rest of us to be like. It's quite understandable. I've already found myself doing that with the middle school younglings, and I love it when they astound me and make me remember, that yes, we mature with age, but our immiturity doesn't necessarily reflect upon our IQ or our observations. Because, face it-- we are always amazed when some one younger than us does something better or knows more than we do, and they do set an example.

He spoke on how we speak, how we love, how we live in faith, and purity, and it was like a week of camp rolled into a 30-45 minute sermon. He was saying thing that I already knew, and had already been thinking I need to do, but I was only thinking half heartedly. It's reaffirming to hear some one else tell me I need to do something. It makes it feel as if there is more verity in it.

I'm going to be honest. This year was the hardest year of my life, no exaggeration, and it was also the farthest I've been from God. I guess I was angry. Not really with God, but I was angry. I didn't understand why I was in the school that I was; why my grandfather had to get sick, better, sick again, and die; how my family reacted to my grandfather's illness and death; why my dad had a really bad job; how my family could go through so many cars; how my friends can do, say, or think what they did; how family friends can turn into family enemies; how I could be so apathetic towards school work; and how my family can have the financial issues that we do.

It all just hardened my heart, and I really couldn't think of anyone but myself.

But luckily I have good friends who can snap me out of it and remind me why I live...not that I was suicidal or anything...because I wasn't.

Updates in my life:
*I have been listening to the Backstreet Boys. I have fallen in love all over again.
*I went to Pinky Park and cherished how much I love to swing.
*Traci and I are planning our sleep over, and are excited to the max. We've not hung out in ages.
*I hate working at Chuck E Cheese. It's not really my thing, but I plan to stick it out for a little while.
*Still anxious about my England application. I'm just going to pray.

Tonight was good.

Change is Inevitable

Thank God.

People tend to hate change, I on the other hand embrace it full heartedly...most of the time--when I am not being selfish...which I have a strong tendency to be. Anyway, this past year as well as make my life miserable, also made me learn things.

Things like I could have prevented my life from being miserable. It's all in the outlook of life. Places, events, people are what you make them out to be. You enter something saying, this is going to be stupid, or comparing it to something else and you are already limiting the experience. Something I had to learn the hard way, and it sucks.

Boredom is another thing that people tend to hate. I find the beauty that comes out of boredom. Don't get me wrong, I hate the feeling of being bored, but it always forces me to do something. Usually something creative. Something like changing the template on my blog. People think I am a boring person when they ask what I've done for the day, but one of these days this boredom will pay for my meals. Anyway, the constant feeling of being bored helped me discover that I like painting and photography, and I'm even halfway decent at it.

Boredom makes me think as well. Reflect on my past and plan for my future. Imagine the "what ifs" and the "how would I's." I've been thinking a lot lately, and things need to change.

So back to change. There are things in my life I've realized need to change. Things like how much time I spend with God among other aspecs in my life. I'm looking forward to these changes and I can't wait to see the results.

England?

Yes, please.

Today I turned my application to return to England this fall. I should know by July 16 or 18 or something along those lines. I'm not really nervous, and I'm not really scared. I'm just kind of anxious. It's something I want so badly, and there's nothing I can do about it if my aplication gets rejected. I'm very critical, and I always remember things I should have said or should have done. I forgot to say a couple of things on my application, and it just makes me mad. But, o well. At least I turned it in on time.

I am getting more and more excited about the Chicago missoin trip. I've been every year we could go, and I love it. It's one of my favorite trips. I wouldn't miss it. Sadly to say, I am missing this year's camp. I want to go, but I am working, so I can't.

Really good bands I have found on Myspace (band websites linked on the sidebar):
The Southland
»Shadow
The 88
»Comming Home
»All 'Cause of You

I'll keep you updated.

Minty Goodness

I've had questions. "Is mint some kind of dinosaur thing?" "What does it mean?"

Well, i guess i had better explain then.

Mint.
Refreshing.
Kills bad breath.
Cool.

I needed something new because my old blog was the same repetative thing about how horrible my life was--and don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of trials this year and the past couple of years, but it wasn't as bad as I was saying it was, and I sounded emo. I wanted to continue blogging, but my blog felt stale and I just didn't have the will to care anymore. I just didn't want to write in it. It's refreshing to start something new.

Mints kill bad breath, and if they don't, you need to get stronger mints. Anyway, metaphorically speaking, I guess you could say that bad breath can also be what people say. I have a tendancy to be very sarcastic, or say things I shouldn't.

Mints are cold...and I like the cold.

In England, mint also means cool, which is where the original idea came from. I don't really think I am all that cool, but it's fun to joke around with it. So instead of saying that I am cool, i wanted to say that I live in the land of cool--which sounds retarded. So, land of mint sounds pretty cool, and I guess I could take it a step further and say that I feel as if I am constanly surrounded by cool people.

It Needed to Be

So... a new blog. A new blog with pretty much all of the same features. Why? It needed to be.

I've saved all my old posts, but I only posted a few that i felt needed to be on here. This is the real first post on my new blog.

This past year has been the hardest year in my life, and I just needed a new start. Fresh and Clean-- like a mint.

this was the highlight of my day yesterday, followed closely by texting/talking to askew, hanging with lizzy and kara.

so, i'm pretty sure i broke my toe last night. i've broken a toe before...and it feels kinda the same. it's very bruised and there's this weird little bump under the skin which i am assuming to be my bone. it's most likely broken. at least it looks pretty cool...

i'm currently in the process of filling out my england mission trip application. i'm very nervous, yet very excited...i want to go back so bad. i want to cross the pond.

uh oh...

...caught by the po-po.

so tonight was interesting, and i am sure that will and dyson jinxed me by talking about police because i got pulled over on the way home, but i guess part of it was my fault. i mean, i guess i did hit ten pedestrians (three of which died, two severely maimed) and knock over a trash can. kara flew through the window (wear your seatbelt kids). she got back into the car, and i sent her home with a bag of ice. she seemed pretty ok-she thought that she was madonna, but i'm sure she'll be alright with the passsing of time. but surprisingly enough i didn't get a ticket, and that's the joy of being amazingly good-looking.


...or maybe i just made an illegal left turn.

hot-tubbing, prank calls, and hot pursuit

so last night there was a going away party for lizzy, mary kendall, and dyson at tyler smith's house. as you can imagine, tyler, lizzy, mary kendall, and dyson were there along with tyler askew, will, and me.

i don't know how much i can tell you without having to kill you, but i have some photographs and you can decide what really happened last night.



will got sugar in his eye...








it was this funny...

things have gone all Askew

HAHA. may i just tell you how hard this title makes me laugh. well... i'm laughing on the inside.

anyway, yesterday i went to church and then out to eat with pringle, kara, cameron, lizzy, and tyler. we went to logan's and then we all (minus tyler) went to pringle's house. we watched life of brian (monty python) and i have to say i wasn't as amused as i thought i would be so we stopped in the middle of it. i did have a good ten minute laugh with lizzy over it though. then pringle, cameron and i went on an adventure to see how clean the neighborhood pool was and it was pretty clean, but it closed at sundown, so it would be pointless for everyone to go home and get their swimsuits. so we came back ate a hotdog, and then ashley (who came later) and i went to my house to clean my room so i could sleep over at kara's. all i have to say is...don't leave a bowl of corn on your shelf for two weeks. just don't do it. just say no. we left and went to ashleys house but made a very important pit stop. tyler's house.

and this is where the title comes into play. dear askew. o dear dear askew. ha. ashley and i decide to stop by and bother tyler for not taking all of us to his pool in his neighborhood. we ring the doorbell twice. no one answers. i know he is home. so i look at ashley and tell her i know how to get in. so i run to the side of his house, and check his car. locked. i try garret's car (tyler's little brother) expecting it to be locked but pleasently surprised when it isn't. i open the garage door about a foot high. i crawl under the door and run to the front door to let ashley in. she hesitates going upstairs, but i am already at the top. i run into tyler's room and jump on the bed and scare the living crap out of him. it was amazing. i wish my camera battery wasn't dead. that would have been the funniest picture. ha.

and then i spent the night at kara's. kara and ashley go to blockbuster to rent movies and i stay at kara's to run. i ran a lot. i am very sore. anyway, that's not the point. they come home with saw and 40 year old virgin. i'm very excited because i want to see 40 yov, and so we go inside. we start saw so we could watch something funny afterwards. we don't even get half way through it. that's not something i can watch with girls anyway; girls scream, which makes me scream. i'd probably have to watch it myself or with a group of guys. SO, we are disgusted and freaked out, so we turn it off. we pop in 40 yov. yay! wait no... it sucked. we don't finish it out of pure boredom. there were so many cuss words that it just wasn't funny. and i'm serious. it was just like every other word was f---, and i was just like...this isn't funny. so we all just went to sleep.

and now i am home. the end.

i wish i was normal

i wish i was normal

o the summer days of glory are soon upon us.
for some more than for others.
school has sucked me dry
to junior year i say good-bye
and good riddence
yay for being seniors.
but summer is a trying time.
a time to see who are your real friends,
who will forget and neglect you.
and who will kidnap you and take you to your favorite places.
a time to see if what you say you believe is what you really believe,
or if it's what you do when it's a convenience.
yay for being seniors.
i know that this will be the last year i will see most of my friends,
so i will continue to make it the most.
i've never really let anyone get close to me.
maybe that's wrong with me.
i always say that i do not care what others think of me,
but that only applies to people i do not know very well.
i think that people will eventually find out i am not all that,
and will find newer and better friends.
i feel the constant need to be "cool."
i don't get attatched.
yay for being seniors.
i've searched for 17 years to figure out who i am.
i've finally found it.
i'm a tomboy, but i am girly.
i'm sensative, but i am sarcastic.
i'm shy, but i am outgoing.
i'm a sinner, but i am God's child.
i wish i was normal.

friends

kara and lizzy


me


kara


kara


kara and lizzy




lizzy










kara




dixie


me

he's heeeeeeeeeeeere

this is my friend, the vicar. aka alan. aka michael's dad. he's super cool. he's got my vote for best driver in england award as well.

SHLAP: being guilty of floccinaucinihilipilification

how to play shlap:

shlap is a simple and easy game to get to grips with and the rules of shlap are simple and easy to follow.

1. there are many different ways of shlapping a fellow shlapper. the aim is to shlap them in the best and most imaginative way possible (with reason).

2. the most imaginative shlaps gain you more points and move you closer to "the league of extraordinary shlappers." all shlaps, special and normal, must be reported to michael or matthew in order for your point tally to rise and get you closer to the elite league.

3. points will be deducted for an illegal shlap (see rule 5). for every illegal shlap, you will be given an official warning.

4. after 3 official warnings you will be removed from the game of shlap and will serve a lengthy ban and possible fne for these acts of poor sportsmanship. one way to regain access quicker to the game is to write a letter of apology to michael an matthew, pleading for forgiveness for breaking the rules of shlap.[*]

5. "shlap is a serious sport and should be played in a good will with good sportsmanship. if a shlapper is found to be shlapping another shlapper too hard (see rule 4), they will be removed from the game without hesitation and will no longer be involved in the game of shlap.

rules
1. you must look up to the creators of shlap, michael farish and matthew trotter, and ultimate respect must be given to them at all times.

2. "shlap" is not, never has, or ever will be remotely related in any way, shape, or form to the german language [tim] or any other language for that matter. however, michael and matthew may frequently, being the creators of the sport, use "shlapé," [pronounced 'ssh-lap-ay'] which is of course, the french for "shlap." no other shlappers are sanctioned to use this extreme form of shlapping unless initiated into the highest of all honorsinvolved with shlapping: "the league of extraordinary shlappers" (which at the current time michael and matthew are the only members). if anyone at anytime is caught using the ultimate shlapé without being in "the league of extraordinary shlappers" then they will have the ultimate shlapé used against them. if this ultimate shlapé is used against you, you will have deserved it.

3. a "double shlap" is a newly revolutionised form of shlapping that michael and matthew have cleverly invented. this involves shlapping another shlapper with both hands on either cheek at the same time. rule 2 must be strongly enforced again. it is not "douple," it is "double." similarly, it is not "shlappen," it is "shlap."

4. shlap is an extremely serious sport and must be played with the utmost caution whilst having fun at the same time. however, shlapping is not a violent sport ans shlaps must be taken out at a moderate hitting standard. if you are found shlapping another shlapper too acrimoniously, michael will eat you, with his teeth.

5. shlapping is only permitted to take place when in conversation with another shlapper. shlapping whilst another shlapper is unaware of the game beginning is illegal and michael will disembowel you, with his teeth.

6. you should not, and will not, shlap exessively, for this will give the game a bad reputation and its distinction and eminence will be ruined. if you are caught shlapping disproportionately, michael will decompose you with, with his teeth.

7. if you damage any of michael's teeth during any of the above noted processes, you will pay for the dentistry bill, and you will do so generously with approbation

terms and conditions apply for being involved with the sport of slap. if these rules are not followed precisely, youwill be banned from playing the game and publicly embarrassed unsparingly by your fellow shlappers.

these rules and regulations were devised by "team shlap," which consists of michael and matthew, and must be followed and obeyed at all times.

if you have any queries on the rules of the sport or the general sport itself, michael or matthew will be more than happy to answer them.[**]

as the creators of shlap, micahel and matthew, under the influence of lord shlappstor, have created these rules and regulatins so that shlap can be played with the utmost merriment and buffoonery. enjoy.

[*you (the fellow shlapper) will give the letter to meaghan (me) and i will put them in the post to michael and/or matthew]

[**since michael nor matthew live in the states, meaghan (i) will have to be the one to answer any and all questions you (the fellow shlapper) have on the rules or the game itself. any questions that i cannot personally answer, i will ask michael ot matthew and get back to you within a 3-5 day waiting period.]

i guess it's safe to say you're never comming back

i hate crying. why is it so natural? i hate crying in front of people. so i don't. i cry when i am driving by myself. i just let it all out. or when i'm ready to fall asleep. it hurts so much because he's just always been there in my life since before i can remember, and now he's not. he's not there to continue fixing up my g=parent's house. he's not there to harass me or give me a hard time. he's not there to tickle me. he's not there to get frustrated with me. he's not there to defend me. hes not there to hold my hand.

TiesShoesInKnots2: i just want to say it's not fair and cry...but i always remember the line from a song, the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair, and so many people have it worse off than me...i just don't know what to do
predsprowl: just tell God that

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

it's so hard.



bye bye papa.

soccer playing. rugby tossing. shoe shopping. nickelback cd buying. lightsaber fighting. race winning. mc donalds eating. mello yellow stealing. music listening. that was my wednesday with michael.

yesterday night, i went riding around because it felt so good yesterday. we went to an abandoned house and then i went exploring inside. i found some books. some random guy drove by and stopped. he looked at sarah's car, left then came back 3 minutes later. sarah and i freaked out (my heart was beating like none other) and then he drove up into the driveway (really long). sarah booked it to her car and sped away. we turned around and then went back the way we came from. we see a car that looks like the one that was looking at sarah's car and we freaked out. but then it was't. it was a van, not a truck. it was crazy. then we went to robbie's house and watched some oc. that was fun. then i came home and went to bed.

today is good friday. there is school today. but not for me. the parents didn't make me go. this afternoon, i am leaving for arkansas to visit my grandparents again.

well put me in a book and call me paper

let me show you the way.

so i've been dealing with lots lately. mostly things that need to change with myself. things that i shouldn't be feeling, but i do.

for instance...i am a jealous person. i hate that about myself. right now, i've just been realizing how bad it really is. so when i find myself thinking about other people and things like that, i just have to pray about it. i mean, jealousy is not something that could ever come in handy... honestly.

i'm way too self-conscience. that sucks. i find myself over analyzing everything, and not really living up to my full potential, and it just kills me. i'm tired of it. i'm ready to let go.

i'm comming slowly but surely to the realization that the world doesn't revolve around me and i cannot do it by myself and i cannot fix anything but me. i always say that i believe Jesus is in control, and i fully believe that, but it's about time i start living that way, not just saying it. i just have to sit back and let Jesus hold the flashlight because i'm pointing it in all the wrong directions, and i can't find my way out of the woods.

i love it when i realize that humility is the only way. i love to be humbled. it shoves me back into my place with no mercy, but a lot of grace saying, "you. what are you doing? why are you worrying about this? why do you feel like that? you'll get it the next time." it's one of the most awesome feelings.

God's put missions on my heart. not for just the places we go or the things we get to do, but rather, the people we meet. i want to tell people about Jesus, but in order for me to be effective, i'm going to have to sit down with myself and God and figure out exactly what i am doing wrong. i'm going to have to set a time and place for my quiet time. i'm going to have to sit down and read the Bible. i'm going to have to share what i am going through. i can't just keep it bottled up expecting people to know what i am ealing with or just leading the to think that everything is perfect in my life. it's not.

i could give you a detailed list of what's wrong with me, but i won't because i know God has already forgiven me. it's me that has to forgive myself. God doesn't have any problem forgiving. i'm the one who has a hard time letting things go. it feels like it just shouldn't be that easy...but it is. and that's so hard to comprehend.

God's put a place in my heart that i really want to serve missions. i love the people and i feel like it would be on of the best opportunities. i mean, i've been there...but i want to keep going back. and i want to live there. and i want to go to college there. no one understands. they think it's for childish reasons, but i think it's where God is calling me. it's where he wants me to be and is using people (because i am all about the relationships) to make me realize that could quite possibly be his plan for me. he's given me the heart for something that could easily be my job in this place. but i won't know for sure until me and him have quite a few one-on-ones.

i'm thankful that i have opportunities to unblind me from my character flaws. just slap some mud on my eyes and call me healed. actually, it's a lot like michael's game of schlap (which i will explain later...like tomorrow). i'm having a conversation with God and all of a sudden...schlap. if you know anything about schlap, it's not hard hitting...just something gentle. it wakens you and you're aware of your surroundings...or in my case personal flaws that create this giant wall that i cannot get over with out help.

well i'm done for tonight, but i leave you with some great pictures:

you've just been schlapped.


bff's


clubbin' it up at rcktwn.


this is the brit i've been talking about.


poker face...


no ma'am.


the night life...at rcktwn


do you believe in magic?


eh...it's just hunter.


michael and ashley at starbucks.


watch out...i feel a schlap comming on....


eh?


feet from all over the world.