he's heeeeeeeeeeeere

this is my friend, the vicar. aka alan. aka michael's dad. he's super cool. he's got my vote for best driver in england award as well.

SHLAP: being guilty of floccinaucinihilipilification

how to play shlap:

shlap is a simple and easy game to get to grips with and the rules of shlap are simple and easy to follow.

1. there are many different ways of shlapping a fellow shlapper. the aim is to shlap them in the best and most imaginative way possible (with reason).

2. the most imaginative shlaps gain you more points and move you closer to "the league of extraordinary shlappers." all shlaps, special and normal, must be reported to michael or matthew in order for your point tally to rise and get you closer to the elite league.

3. points will be deducted for an illegal shlap (see rule 5). for every illegal shlap, you will be given an official warning.

4. after 3 official warnings you will be removed from the game of shlap and will serve a lengthy ban and possible fne for these acts of poor sportsmanship. one way to regain access quicker to the game is to write a letter of apology to michael an matthew, pleading for forgiveness for breaking the rules of shlap.[*]

5. "shlap is a serious sport and should be played in a good will with good sportsmanship. if a shlapper is found to be shlapping another shlapper too hard (see rule 4), they will be removed from the game without hesitation and will no longer be involved in the game of shlap.

rules
1. you must look up to the creators of shlap, michael farish and matthew trotter, and ultimate respect must be given to them at all times.

2. "shlap" is not, never has, or ever will be remotely related in any way, shape, or form to the german language [tim] or any other language for that matter. however, michael and matthew may frequently, being the creators of the sport, use "shlapé," [pronounced 'ssh-lap-ay'] which is of course, the french for "shlap." no other shlappers are sanctioned to use this extreme form of shlapping unless initiated into the highest of all honorsinvolved with shlapping: "the league of extraordinary shlappers" (which at the current time michael and matthew are the only members). if anyone at anytime is caught using the ultimate shlapé without being in "the league of extraordinary shlappers" then they will have the ultimate shlapé used against them. if this ultimate shlapé is used against you, you will have deserved it.

3. a "double shlap" is a newly revolutionised form of shlapping that michael and matthew have cleverly invented. this involves shlapping another shlapper with both hands on either cheek at the same time. rule 2 must be strongly enforced again. it is not "douple," it is "double." similarly, it is not "shlappen," it is "shlap."

4. shlap is an extremely serious sport and must be played with the utmost caution whilst having fun at the same time. however, shlapping is not a violent sport ans shlaps must be taken out at a moderate hitting standard. if you are found shlapping another shlapper too acrimoniously, michael will eat you, with his teeth.

5. shlapping is only permitted to take place when in conversation with another shlapper. shlapping whilst another shlapper is unaware of the game beginning is illegal and michael will disembowel you, with his teeth.

6. you should not, and will not, shlap exessively, for this will give the game a bad reputation and its distinction and eminence will be ruined. if you are caught shlapping disproportionately, michael will decompose you with, with his teeth.

7. if you damage any of michael's teeth during any of the above noted processes, you will pay for the dentistry bill, and you will do so generously with approbation

terms and conditions apply for being involved with the sport of slap. if these rules are not followed precisely, youwill be banned from playing the game and publicly embarrassed unsparingly by your fellow shlappers.

these rules and regulations were devised by "team shlap," which consists of michael and matthew, and must be followed and obeyed at all times.

if you have any queries on the rules of the sport or the general sport itself, michael or matthew will be more than happy to answer them.[**]

as the creators of shlap, micahel and matthew, under the influence of lord shlappstor, have created these rules and regulatins so that shlap can be played with the utmost merriment and buffoonery. enjoy.

[*you (the fellow shlapper) will give the letter to meaghan (me) and i will put them in the post to michael and/or matthew]

[**since michael nor matthew live in the states, meaghan (i) will have to be the one to answer any and all questions you (the fellow shlapper) have on the rules or the game itself. any questions that i cannot personally answer, i will ask michael ot matthew and get back to you within a 3-5 day waiting period.]

i guess it's safe to say you're never comming back

i hate crying. why is it so natural? i hate crying in front of people. so i don't. i cry when i am driving by myself. i just let it all out. or when i'm ready to fall asleep. it hurts so much because he's just always been there in my life since before i can remember, and now he's not. he's not there to continue fixing up my g=parent's house. he's not there to harass me or give me a hard time. he's not there to tickle me. he's not there to get frustrated with me. he's not there to defend me. hes not there to hold my hand.

TiesShoesInKnots2: i just want to say it's not fair and cry...but i always remember the line from a song, the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair, and so many people have it worse off than me...i just don't know what to do
predsprowl: just tell God that

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

it's so hard.



bye bye papa.

soccer playing. rugby tossing. shoe shopping. nickelback cd buying. lightsaber fighting. race winning. mc donalds eating. mello yellow stealing. music listening. that was my wednesday with michael.

yesterday night, i went riding around because it felt so good yesterday. we went to an abandoned house and then i went exploring inside. i found some books. some random guy drove by and stopped. he looked at sarah's car, left then came back 3 minutes later. sarah and i freaked out (my heart was beating like none other) and then he drove up into the driveway (really long). sarah booked it to her car and sped away. we turned around and then went back the way we came from. we see a car that looks like the one that was looking at sarah's car and we freaked out. but then it was't. it was a van, not a truck. it was crazy. then we went to robbie's house and watched some oc. that was fun. then i came home and went to bed.

today is good friday. there is school today. but not for me. the parents didn't make me go. this afternoon, i am leaving for arkansas to visit my grandparents again.

well put me in a book and call me paper

let me show you the way.

so i've been dealing with lots lately. mostly things that need to change with myself. things that i shouldn't be feeling, but i do.

for instance...i am a jealous person. i hate that about myself. right now, i've just been realizing how bad it really is. so when i find myself thinking about other people and things like that, i just have to pray about it. i mean, jealousy is not something that could ever come in handy... honestly.

i'm way too self-conscience. that sucks. i find myself over analyzing everything, and not really living up to my full potential, and it just kills me. i'm tired of it. i'm ready to let go.

i'm comming slowly but surely to the realization that the world doesn't revolve around me and i cannot do it by myself and i cannot fix anything but me. i always say that i believe Jesus is in control, and i fully believe that, but it's about time i start living that way, not just saying it. i just have to sit back and let Jesus hold the flashlight because i'm pointing it in all the wrong directions, and i can't find my way out of the woods.

i love it when i realize that humility is the only way. i love to be humbled. it shoves me back into my place with no mercy, but a lot of grace saying, "you. what are you doing? why are you worrying about this? why do you feel like that? you'll get it the next time." it's one of the most awesome feelings.

God's put missions on my heart. not for just the places we go or the things we get to do, but rather, the people we meet. i want to tell people about Jesus, but in order for me to be effective, i'm going to have to sit down with myself and God and figure out exactly what i am doing wrong. i'm going to have to set a time and place for my quiet time. i'm going to have to sit down and read the Bible. i'm going to have to share what i am going through. i can't just keep it bottled up expecting people to know what i am ealing with or just leading the to think that everything is perfect in my life. it's not.

i could give you a detailed list of what's wrong with me, but i won't because i know God has already forgiven me. it's me that has to forgive myself. God doesn't have any problem forgiving. i'm the one who has a hard time letting things go. it feels like it just shouldn't be that easy...but it is. and that's so hard to comprehend.

God's put a place in my heart that i really want to serve missions. i love the people and i feel like it would be on of the best opportunities. i mean, i've been there...but i want to keep going back. and i want to live there. and i want to go to college there. no one understands. they think it's for childish reasons, but i think it's where God is calling me. it's where he wants me to be and is using people (because i am all about the relationships) to make me realize that could quite possibly be his plan for me. he's given me the heart for something that could easily be my job in this place. but i won't know for sure until me and him have quite a few one-on-ones.

i'm thankful that i have opportunities to unblind me from my character flaws. just slap some mud on my eyes and call me healed. actually, it's a lot like michael's game of schlap (which i will explain later...like tomorrow). i'm having a conversation with God and all of a sudden...schlap. if you know anything about schlap, it's not hard hitting...just something gentle. it wakens you and you're aware of your surroundings...or in my case personal flaws that create this giant wall that i cannot get over with out help.

well i'm done for tonight, but i leave you with some great pictures:

you've just been schlapped.


bff's


clubbin' it up at rcktwn.


this is the brit i've been talking about.


poker face...


no ma'am.


the night life...at rcktwn


do you believe in magic?


eh...it's just hunter.


michael and ashley at starbucks.


watch out...i feel a schlap comming on....


eh?


feet from all over the world.

all your stories are stale

the arctic mokeys. fantastic. best if blasted out of the speakers.

well over there there's friends of mine
what can i say, i've known them for a long long time
and they might overstep the line
but you just cannot get angry in the same way

a certain romance | arctic monkeys

this has not been a good week. thank you ending.

the only good part was taking pictures with sarah and michael comming and hanging out with him.

fights with 3 different friends. a cancerous grandfather. apathetic school attempts. timelessness for myself. disasterous ACT.

i want to see all of the things that we've already seen
i want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine
and putit all back in.

the view from the afternoon | acrtic monkeys

but those fights have been resolved. that grandfather is doing better. those attemps are at least going somewhere. that timelessness is being taken care of. that ACT can be taken again. and again. and again.

so laugh and joke around
remember cuddles in the kitchen
yeah, to get things off the ground
and it was up, up and away
still it's right hard to remember
that on a day like today when you're all argumentative
and you've got the face on

mardy bum | arctic monkeys

old nostalgia

today was interesting. i got a dinosaur for sarah...but then i lost him. ugh. then school is going by fast. but then, i have something to look forward to...friday, my friend michael is comming on friday, and i can just not wait. i am so excited.

after school, i went and fed my family friends' animals. goats, chickens, and dogs. they live in thomson station, and there are so many good pic. ops. so i took my time, and i stopped just to take some pictures. i found an old abandoned home and it was just beautiful. holes in the porch, ceiling falling down, and weeds growing everywhere. maybe next time i will go inside and check it out. there are old barns that are just falling apart, and i love it. it makes you wonder how beautiful they were before they were rundown.

well anyway, that was my art for the day. i still have to do some other art things, and i will have to deal with my school's administration within the next couple of days and and we all know my administrative team is never in the building, so we'll see how that goes.

this week in chemistry, we get to make ice cream. so, we tye die shirts and make ice cream. it's about time chemistry got fun.

it was like one of those incidences in grade school...

...where some one yells, "THINK FAST!!" and then throws a ball at you; you turn to look and it nails you in the face, and everyone laughs.

haha, funny.

i am such a girl

Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don’t you let me go home
(hoist up the john b’s sail)
Hoist up the john b
I feel so broke up I wanna go home
beach boys | sloop john b

my heart needs to be fixed. not that it's been "broken" by some boy, but it just needs to be put back up into the right place. it needs to be re-adjusted, if you will. it needs patience. it needs grace. it just needs to stay in its place.

We know it by the spirit he gave us.

i saw something beautiful today. i saw one friend say good-bye to another. it was snowing, and she hugged her good-bye, and knew she wouldn't see her again for a whole year. she instinctly gave her a good-bye gift. something that meant so much. she walked away, shed a tear, and it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.

kara and i were cool yesterday night and today. i mean, if you can stick pens up your nose and take a picture of it with some one else's phone, i think that makes for a great frendship. ha. anyway, we got ourselves an arts and crafts project, and you might get to see it later.

wow...where o where do i begin? this day...has just been amazing. i've found something that i really want to do with my life...aside from my career...even though it could be my career...but let's start with the clues i didn't catch until tonight.

• ashley lovell is leaving today to go to south africa for a year for missions.
• our service was/has been about making a mission minded church.
• today's service was especially mission oriented.
• tonight's songs at worship serives was abut getting into the world, and sharing God's love.
• tonight's passage was about loving God and loving people.

then, i had this gut feeling, so i went and talked to amy-jo about helping with missions because i felt it was something i needed to do. and then traci, like traci is (thank God), came over and asked if she could pray for/with me. i know she gets random urges to pray for certain people, and i always tell her to go pray with/for them, and i felt so special--like God sent her over there to re-assure me. i mean, i still have to pray about this because it is a big decision.

and i have to realize a few things. things aren't easy. they take time. just because i don't see the effects of what i do right away, doesn't mean i should put in less effort or quit all together. like running. or quiet time. or breaking habits. or creating new, good habits. things take time. if i just stick with it long enough, i will start to reap the benefits.

it's nice to know that Christ already knows my heart. he knows what i really want before i know what i think that i want. he knows what i am dealing with. i don't even have to tell him he knows. i can just sit in silence and listen because he knows. but in the end, prayer is necessary. it's something that soothes the heart and strengthens the mind and heals the soul. i don't tell God because i want him to know--he knows. i tell him because i need to tell him. i need to get it off of my chest. it's something i do because i have this feeling after i pray that God is in control. sometimes i don't get that feeling immediately, but it comes eventually.

mike gave an analogy today in church and so did jay tonight in worship.
mike:
your house is on fire. you wake-up and your room is filled with smoke. you hear someone calling your name. they are yelling for you to follow their voice because they know the way to safety. are you going so say, "um, well really, i think that, uh, well, you know. this is a big house. i'm sure there's another way. i mean, maybe this door will work." or are you going to follow? God's calling your name. if there was another way to him, he would tell you. he wants all of his children with him.

i cannot remember a way to reword what jay said, but it probably wouldn't have as much of an impact because you had to be there and see it.

i heard some olld school Christian music on the way home. a bit of toby mac and a bit of stephen curtis chapman. live out loud and irene, but there was one song that i really wanted to share.

I never did like the word mediocre
I never wanted it to be said of me, oh, no
Just point me to the job and I’d go over, over
Looking for the very best that could be
So what is this thing I see
Going on inside of me?
When it comes to the grace of God

Sometimes it's like i'm
I’m playing Gameboy standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon
I’m eating candy sittin’ at a gourmet feast
I’m wading in a puddle when I
could be swimming in the ocean
Tell me what’s the deal with me
(I know the time has come for me to)
wake up and see the glory.

Every star in the sky tells his story, oh
And every breeze is singing His song
All of creation is imploring
Hey, come see this grand phenomenon
The wonder of His grace
Should take my breath away
I miss so many things when i'm consumed with...

[...]

How could I trivialize it.
This awesome gift of God’s grace?
Once I have come to realize it
I should be speechless and amazed.

Wake up and see the glory
Open your eyes and take it in
Wake up and be amazed
Over and over again.

[...]

stephen curtis chapman | see the glory

let's do a dance

michael says:
I'M COMING OVER TO VISIT FOR DEFINATE

meaghan says:
NO WAY!!!!! YEEEEAAAAA!!

o snap.

express yourself

express yourself.
your faith.
your art.
your thoughts.
your joy.
your hurt.
your anger.
your writings.
your anxieties.
your tiredness.
your feelings.
you.
express yourself.

Express Yourself!
Express Yourself!

You don’t ever need help from nobody else.
All you got to do now: Express Yourself!

What ever you do, do it good.
What ever you do, do it good.

All right... It’s not what you look like,
when you’re doin' what you’re doin'.
It’s what you’re doin'
when you’re doin' what you look like you’re doin'!

Express Yourself!
Express Yourself!

They’re doin´it on the moon, yeah... In the jungle too.
Everybody on the floor, now. Jumpin' like a kangaroo.
So let the horns do the thing they do, yo...
Some people have everything, and other people don’t.
But everything don’t mean a thing if it ain´t the thing you want.

Express Yourself! Express Yourself!

O, do it! O, do it. Do it to it.
Go on and do it. Yo, do it. Give.

Express Yourself!
Express Yourself!

express yourself | charles wright and the watts 103rd street rhythm band

i needed somewhere to hang my head

samantha of the high sierra.

no i didn't name her. we rescued her when she was a puppy and that was the name that she already had. she's had seizures. she's run away. she's had heart worms. everytime we found her or she was ok. this time it was real and she's gone. it was ironic that the one oldie song i remember from cali (where we got her and the one song that i have known since i can remember) played on the radio on our way there.

this is sam. o Lord, i already miss her; i am a wreck. i knew it wouldn't fully hit me what we were going to do until today...well actually it hit me last night as i cried the biggest tears ever until i fell asleep. i came home early today because i had a headache and i couldn't focus and i just kept crying. and i hate crying especially in public. she was the sweetest dog ever...unless you were annoying the crap out of her. then she would've snarled and snapped at you. she was shaking in the car, in the waiting room, and in the vet's office. who could blame her? i almost wished she had passed away at home because the look on her face as the vet took her away nearly ripped my heart right out of my chest. i couldn't breathe--it knocked the wind out of me. that was the last time i would ever see her. i couldn't hold the tears back then. and she was taken away from me by a stranger, some one she had no idea who it was and that would be the last person she would ever see. not me, not my family. all i am left with is her pink collar and an extra leash...ahh this pink collar...this is the one she's had her whole life; i can't tell you how many times she has slipped out of this thing. she's not here for me to pet...she won't sleep in my room or on my bed, and when there's a thunderstorm she won't be there to freak out. i won't find her next to my parents bed or behind the couch...i'm going to miss the way she cocks her head when she's excited or you are talking to her...
i have to quit because i just can't write about it anymore.

falling on my face in front of at least 100 people...

...my anti drug...

i like creative dancing...want me to show you some?

yes indeed, i fell in front of everyone, and you know what? i enjoyed it. immensly. it was something i needed. my art was out and everyone could look at it, so i was excited and a bit prideful. it's something that i have been for a little while now. and tonight jay talked about doing everything for the glory of God, and i really haven't been. i've been doing everything for me.

well, i think God was like, "hey meaghan, it's not about you. so uh, how about you have a little trip--to the floor." yea, i was humbled. but i still thought it was hilarious. if i had been embarrassed, i wouldn't be posting about it. don't get me wrong, it was embarassing, but really, i love to tell a good embarassing story about myself any ole time. i just laugh at myself, make a big joke about it, and move on.

besides, i know if it had been any other person, i would have laughed until i had rock hard abs like chuck norris.

and i was excited that so many people came tonight, but i really wanted them to know how much work was put into it. but does that really matter? not really. not at all.

this will make one good story. it'll be a good teaching tool too. thank you, God.

"no no, i think i am going to lie here in my humility for another minute."

i am so glad people came. i can tell this thing is going to be amazing.

i hope we have school tomorrow...SIKE.

resolutions

who keeps 'em?

i've never made new year's resolutions, and i don't plan to start tonight. to me, if it's something that you say you will do, but know you are going to break them anyway, then it's just pointless...unless they are resolutions like "i'm going to make my life suck" or "i'm going to eat cat food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyother tuesday if the moon is full and only if i didn't see a black rabbit at 2 AM" or "i'm only going to take a bath/shower on the first of every month." if you know you are going to break them anyway, these might as well be you resolutions.

we don't need no resolutions.

so it's 7:49, but i am not posting this post until midnight. i'm not doing anything. i don't care.

this year has seemed so very long (and i have a feeling so will this post), but it feels like just yesterday i was at ashley's house watching anchorman and lighting noisemakers because we thought they were firecrackers. personally, i am glad this year is over. it's been the best so far, but there' s been a lot more crap than usual. holy crap have i changed this year. more than you will ever know.

i don't worry so much. i am not quiet, Lord knows i am not quiet. i can deal with things better. i don't overthink things. i have more confidence. yea, but you don't really know that unless you know me. i'm really glad that i have friends who have seen me change because it just makes it better that they've seen how you acted before, and can see how much you have grown.

this past year i have had to deal with things i never thought i would have to, and i've had opportunities i thought i would never have. mostly mission opportunities, but more than that.

amazing things have happened this year...
...planning for snowball lead team...
...the shenanagins pulled after planning...
...snowball itself...
...school ended...
...church camp...
...chicago mission trip...
...new york mission trip...
...england mission trip...
...finally getting AIM (yea, it was about time)...
...room in the inn...
...church fall retreat...
...crash (first priority)...
...crash course art...
... the college retreat...
...the opportunity to be on snowball lead team again...

i've met so many cool people this year, and i've made so many new friends. sure some had to go to mexico or i had to go to chi-town or england or new york to meet them, but hey, i made friends.

hmm, they are playing all of the good oldies...because it is late and it is new years eve...always some catch with radio people.

nevermind. i am just going to post it now, and set the time to pretend like it was at midnight.

AND i fully plan to listen to NSYNC'S "kiss me at midnight" tonight. that's right.

i think you should look at my previous post because i worked a lot on the things i put in it.

i am ready for 2006. let's go.



yea, so happy new years. go do something with your life.

out.

a trip down memory lane...

...some one else's memory lane...

tonight i went to lizzy's school play. it was really good. i got into it. i always do when it comes to movies or plays...that's just my imagination. i'm glad i still have one. i don't ever want to lose it. i will always think of "what if's." it allows your mind to take a mental vacation.

after the play, i hung out with tyler, his sisters, dyson, and lizzie, and we took a walk down memory lane. their memory lane. it was great. some of the things i had NO idea what the crap they were talking about, but i laughed anyway. some of it was just funny. i loved it. i've never lived anywhere for that long to have memories like that. sure i have silly memories with friends...friends that i don't even know anymore. friends that live in other states. i've never lived in one place. i freaking lived in japan for gosh sakes. i really wished i lived here in franklin my whole life. i wish i went to a smaller school where you don't need locks for your lockers and you can just leave your bag in the hallway and you see everyone everyday. where you know everyone.

i've lived in arkansas, japan, california, minnesota, and here. that's a lot to me. people always ask me where i liked living the most. here. i like here the best.

don't get me wrong, i love every place i have ever lived. but moving doesn't give you the opportunity to have friends from the fourth grade on. moving does two things: 1. makes you shy or 2. makes you outgoing. i was the shy kid. i've finally grown out of it. took me 6 years (as long as i have lived here) to do so. in fact, i am still shy around people i don't know. i have to be EXTREMELY comfortable with at least one friend to act like my self in a group of people, i blame moving. i hate HAVING to make new friends because you need a friend. i like making new friends now because i don't HAVE to. i already have friends.

moving also had some positive effects though. telling people where i lived always brought up a conversation. no i don't know how to speak japanese. i was little. it's also given me the blessing and the curse of sarcasm. helps me make friends because that i have found sarcasm as a handy tool for laughter.

it was just really cool to hear about an orange backpack, the tree, x-file stickers, kids with guitars asking lizzy out, the mats, the coffeeshop, and all of the hilarious stories. it made me feel a part of it even though i was never there and i don't really know them. it was just cool.

i cut my bangs/fringe this afternoon. i think i did a pretty good job.

i leave you with these pictures:

i am broken.

my grandfather has bone cancer in his spine.

i love my papa...i've known him forever. he's really the only papa i have. i mean, i have my dad's side, but they don't like my mom, so i never see them. it would suck so much to lose him now...not now...please not now...

it hurts so bad.

it's not fair but i praise God anyway.

look me in the eyes

ever look some one in the eyes? i don't ever do it much. it feels weird. it makes me wonder where i look when i am talking to some one. then i think about it when i am talking to them, so then i move my eyes and it is totally un-natural. looking some one in the eyes is kinda akward. it feels like they are looking into your soul and reading all of your thoughts which is the last thing i want anyone to be doing. like they've found the one hole they can look through--like a knot in a fence, and it's scary.

sometimes...i like it when i look into some one's eyes. like when having a deep conversation. it makes me feel like they are listening and care about what i have to say. i like it when it is random and you just look over at some one and your eyes meet. it's kind of like a silent conversation.

i like to make people smile. when people smile and it's because of something i said or did, it makes me smile. i don't care if it was something witty or something like falling on my face in front of 50 people. embarrassing stories are always the best. those are the most fun stories to tell. your own of course. it's not fun to tell others. but having people laugh at you and you laugh at yourself with them is just so great.

making friends is the best. especially when you realize they are your friend. instead of an aquaintance, you are upgraded to friend. mint.

england was so long ago, but it was only 5 days ago. it's so weird.

England

here are more england pictures from the actual film camera. don't think i am trying to be all artsy. i just like these pictures. there's alot and half are pretty boring, but i like 'em anyway:






amy-jo looks high and tyler looks as if he must be in love.












working hard, mitch.






















it says watson by the door. ah sweetness.






















sumo wrestling in church..who'da thunk it?


she wishes she was an angel...