The Burning of the Salt

I went to the beach in Saltburn with this lot. It was a good crack.

So I bought the soundtrack to Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Don't laugh. It actually goes through all of the emotions of being homesick and the feeling of returning home. I love this movie for that and I love this soundtrack even more.

I Can See the Stars From Way Down Here

The Bunfords are back. It's good. The fridge is full and there's no eerie-ness about the night.

It's been good hearing about their experiences. One would think it would make me incredibly homesick, but in all actualities, it made me less homesick. I got to live vicariously through them, and they brought me some good ole Jif creamy (reduced fat of course [because they are English]). I like sharing the house.

Sarah Bailey (because one can't just say "Sarah" when talking to/about her), Adrian, Michael, Euan, and I just sat around church and talked. It was good. Reminded me of home. I like them.

Today has not been my day for cooking.

All I have to say is at least when you burn a quesadilla, it still tastes nice.

The Revolution will not be Televised

I opened up Blogger thinking about how much I wanted to go home. How I just had a wave of loneliness. How I always feel unsettled. And it got me thinking, am I ever going to be happy with where God leads me to? I feel like I'm always going to have the mentality that the grass is always, always greener on the other side. I want to know how to fix that desperately, because the grass isn't greener anywhere, and it's starting to get to me. I just want to be content for once. And I hope that when I go home, I will be. I think it's this whole growing up thing. I'm not sure it has anything to do with the place I'm in. I think it's just me realizing that I'm growing up and that I don't want to. Then, life just becomes about your job and cleaning your own house and being bored all of the time. I don't want to grow up because I don't want my life to revolve around how I make money. I want it to revolve around my God and my friends and my family, seriously and honestly I do. I want my love to be for people, not money.

Found a Scrap Pieces of Paper

"I saw God cradle you in his arms. You were snuggled into him with your eyes closed. I felt God say that whenever you are weary you have a safe place to go to relax and fill up again with his spirit."

That was given to me the day after I got here. The church was asked if anyone had a word from God or a picture for me. Sometimes you can't just ignore things. If I had actually paid attention, I would have noted that obviously this year wasn't going to be easy. I would have prepared myself more. Sometimes hindsight sucks.

Lakes of the District

Thursday through Saturday I was privileged enough to go the Lake District. It's a district of lakes... surrounded by mountains... and sheep. Was fun to get to know Hannah and Lindsay better.

Before I put up a few pictures (of a couple hundred) to end this blog (because I am too lazy to do anything else with it), Andy has a blog. It's really funny.

I've got an internal battle going on inside of me.

Safari or Firefox?
No, IE is not an option.

Now I've always been a firm supporter of Firefox.  It's fast, it's not annoying, and it's got cool add-ons.  Then came along this stylish and simple web browser.  I know it's not knew, but apple felt that I needed it on my laptop, and I agreed.  I like the simplicity of Safari, but it's slower than Firefox.  I like the look of Safari, but it doesn't have some of my favorite add-ons.  I think I'm going to continue to use Safari mainly because I just like it better regardless of it's speed.

I will never ever enjoy Internet Explorer.  Ever.

[edit] writing blogs in Safari is annoying...  I don't want a double space when I hit enter.

Strangely, this week has been the one for a lot of spiritual growth. You always think growth just happens. It's easy... but that's not true. In the beginning, a seedling can get all of its nutrients from the dirt it's engulfed in, but there comes a time when it must push up through the ground in order to receive light, water, and air. The plant grows stronger than before because it has to push through the dirt, just as in our spiritual growth, sometimes it's painful to push through all of the dirt in our lives in order that we might breathe and eat. If we've actually fought through some of the things in our life, we think that we've reached the finish line, but remember back to Kindergarten when you experimented with growing plants after they sprouted. You put one plant in the cupboard, one you put in a plastic bag, and the last one didn't receive any water. Every single one of the plants eventually died. In the same way you have to look after and care for plants, you must look after and care for your spirit.

Anyway, that's not the reason I sat down to write this post, but that just came to me.

Exercise: Stop for a second and write down a few different words to define yourself. Seriously... just do it. Here are mine:

Out-going
Weird
Awesome
Cynical
Creative

Belief: (n) Mental act and habit of placing trust or confidence in something accepted as true based on experience.

Those words you wrote down? Beliefs.
Some of those words you wrote down? Un-Godly beliefs.
What?

I sat down to write here about the last teaching Hannah gave those of us in Launch this past Thursday about unGodly beliefs. I thought it was going to be a lesson on things people believe about the Bible that are untrue... turned out to be completely different. Un-Godly beliefs are also acceptance of truth based on experience, but are gained through the misinterpretation of events and conversations. God can't give you what He doesn't have. Believing that you are stupid (because maybe your dad called you that) or cynical (because things never go right) or shy or always late or never good enough or anything negative about yourself is giving into un-Godly beliefs. The only way to stop believing in them is to break agreement (saying that's not who I am, that's not who God created me to be) with these things and especially pray about them. Listen to God refute them... normally He wouldn't just negate it saying, "You aren't stupid." In fact, He usually says positive things like, "I created you, and you are very clever." Things like that. It was very interesting to listen to the sermon.

Ninja Beans

they're like Mexican jumping beans...

...only they're ninjas.

I'm done with reading about how much America sucks on the internet... never is everybody going to be happy with what America's government does... if we don't do anything, we're in the wrong... when we do actually do something, we're still in the wrong. I'm not saying that America is perfect, and you have the right to criticize, but condemning the entire country and saying that we're all evil and oppressive? That's just ridiculous, and I'm thankful and proud that I was born in America.

Something smells like Pop Tarts....

...I miss Pop Tarts.

Taco, Burrito, Nacho

At one this afternoon, I was ready to throw in the towel. Just to throw my hands up in frustration and scream. I started brooding and realized that as much as I wanted to curse this ridiculous country, I couldn't because I knew that as a Christian my first response is love and prayer... not hatred and cursing. Which sometimes I think is really unfortunate because it's a lot easier to do the latter.

I think I'm going to give up on complaining for a month. And I know that a few people read this blog, and I'm not telling you this so you can point out to other people when I mess up to get a laugh because really, that's nacho business. I'm just sayin'... I'm thinkin' about it.

It reached a lovely 63 degrees out today... some of you Americans would think, "So?" but you are in America and don't know anything, whereas, I'm in England with a trampoline.

Also... my host mother, Debbie, speaks to her children in French sometimes. She's not French.

It's 54 degrees outside

and there's a trampoline. You wish you were me.

If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.

Check it.

You go, Jessica Fletcher.

Solve those murders.

It's Thursday. Nothing exciting happens on a Thursday.

This is what I'm currently looking at. It's in my room. I'm getting shelves tonight. Boo ya. I can't even explain how great this family is. They're so tight and just fun lovin. I've been proper grocery shopping, vegged, and I've left my room. Meg and I chillaxed and admit it.... you wished you lived in a home with a tight knit English family too.

Michael is ditching the gap year for a day tomorrow. What's tomorrow? Wednesday. Why does that matter, Meaghan? Tomorrow is assembly and Powerpack day. Mental.

Return to Sender: Address Unknown

I've moved. That's right... moved. It's glorious. My room feels like a room... not a hotel suite. It's bright, the window doesn't look into another house, and I've got pictures everywhere. Also- my room has 2 red walls. Jealous?

I'm a Freaking World Traveller.

It’s as if I’m Playing with Fire

I'm just kinda laying here in the dark on my bed. It's not completely dark as there is still a bit of light out and I have some candles around the room. I really felt compelled to take some pictures... but at this moment in time, I don't really think that pictures could accurately capture the atmosphere. That's the one thing about pictures. They're 2D. There's no sound. There's no smell.

I've not just chilled since December when I was in Lanzarote. I've sat around and been lazy, but really just detoxing all that the world throws at you. Just to sit and think. Reflect. Plan.

It's good.

You Must be Trippin

...No... but I wish i was.


I have been looking at a couple of my friends' pictures of different beach trips they've taken in the past couple of weeks, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I've missed it. I've seen several beaches since I've been here, but they've all been cold and uninviting. Only have I actually experienced the beach full-on once in Lanzarote when Rachel and I forced our way through the cold rejection of the ocean. I'm ready to go bask in the sun in my bathing suit, not layered like a Matryoshka doll. So... if any Americans read this blog, I want to go to the beach when I get home. Let's plan a trip.

American Werewolves in London

I realized that i covered the before Andy came period and the after Andy cam period of my life... not really any while Andy was ere period.

So, most of you know that Andy and I went to London, and everyone asks, "How was it?!" and "Was it nice to have Andy around?" Well... here are some pictures. There are some other cool ones, but they are portrait style and not landscape. I don't really like putting portraits up unless I'm doing something like... wrapping the text. I like to fill every bit of space I can. ANYway...

I'm sorry if these pictures are too dark... which just means you have a lame monitor. Get with the program, folks, and pay loads of money for a new monitor so you can see the coolness of my photos. You are the first to see London pictures as I haven't put any on Facebook or anything on Myspace (because Myspace photo uploading annoys me, so until I can be bothered...), so feel proud and say it loud.

We visited all of the touristy places we could (because those are the only places that ever matter), and I actually think we saw all of the major ones... It was a good time to grow together and to just spend time with each other. I think it's funny that we've seen each other more in England than we have back home. I guess you kinda take for granted how close you are until you are far away. I think it's really cool that he came to see me. He's sweet like that.

"I know, but honeslty doing "things" is completely worthless. meg, as long as you are learning about yourself, other people, and God- then you are accomplishing what is meant for you here. the truth is we REALLY do have an affect on people, even though it is often that we feel are being negative. you can see everything that Europe has to offer but if it's not the right time, it is completely meaningless. there is a lot of pressure to spend "this time in your life" traveling. but the truth is, this experience has given me strength to travel in the future with people I actually want to travel with. and well, honestly it can get expensive and you aren't making money here."

"and know this, meg, you have options. you and I both know that there are serious ups and downs to this place, like nothing you can know if you haven't lived here. but there is something deeper than that, and that is your emotional well being. I think we downplay its importance because we see it as weakness but in reality we have to give it some respect. i came here thinking that I needed to completely suppress my emotions and really experience something "hard" and I found out that hard is and adjective and not a noun. meaning this, to do something although it may be hard is very different from doing something because it is hard. so maybe you have duties and responsibilities but you also have options."

I saw Mitch in London when we went. Let me tell you- sight for sore eyes. I never really thought about that phrase... sight for sore eyes. It's a pretty strong statement, actually. ANYway, it was beautiful just to have Andy and Mitch around for a day. A double dose of home and love. Be on the look out on the "Thought Food" bit on the side bar. more words of wisdom from Mitch (and Jesus) coming your way.

I realized that I complain about England a lot.

First off, that's because it's really easy.
Second off, I'm just ready to go home.
Third off, I don't hate my life here... completely.

There are things I don't like. I'm not an Anglican at all. I don't like un-Biblical rules and ridiculous restrictions, BUT on this gap year I'm learning a lot. Well... more just that it's helping me with my relationship with God, but same really.

And I just miss having people my age around.

I am so done with Aspartame*

*contains a source of phenylalanine

I'm increasingly annoyed with the lack of food choices in England. Just because it's "light" doesn't mean I want to eat it. Where are all the foods with regular sugar and so on and so forth? Aspartame doesn't taste as nice and it could potentially have some dire effects. Granted, added sugar isn't healthy either, but that's why there's a moderated intake. Can't I do that with aspartame? No because everything in England contains it.

With England's concern for health and safety, you'd think this might raise an eyebrow, no? Dodgey.

There's a full moon out tonight.

The internet brings out some of the most ignorant people.

You Got to Love Love

"Love. You know each other's secrets, your deepest darkest secrets and then you're free. You're free to love each other completely, totally, no fear. There's nothing you don't know about each other and it's okay."
-Quince

I'm finishing Meet Joe Black, and I wasn't expecting to like it very much, but I think I actually adore it. There are a lot of good quotes, and I just like the overall statement about how important love is... not just between a man and a woman, but family and friends as well. I love love.

I'm gonna be a teacher.

Lost

is one of the most confusing shows ever.

I love it.

[ps] I'm all caught up now.

To Everything, Turn! Turn! Turn!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I've been told that some friends are only in your life for a season. I'm slowly starting to figure that out. I must admit I don't have a special reason for putting all of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 on there, but I couldn't really decide where to cut it. It kind of all just fit.

I've been watching Lost online... all I have to say is WHAT?! I'm not caught up yet, so don't say anything.

I think I'm going home a week and a half early. Not a big difference, but whatever. I really can't wait to see my family and have them in my arms.

Lilt is also a Drink

P.S. I'm working on getting rid of the lilt and acquiring my normal American accent again.

There's a Reason "Assembly" Starts with "Ass"

So many of you don't know (unless you are British) that I'm moving in a monthish. Okay, some of you knew that, but I'm not going to the Farish household, but rather to the Bunfords'. I'm super excited to be with a family again. I know it's not my family, but I miss the family dynamic so much that I don't even care. I already know I like the family, but it'll be interesting to see how things settle. I love families.

Andy visited last month. He left a week ago today :/ Everyone asks me how I'm doing since he left... and to be honest, I'm doing great. Sure I miss him tons, but it was such a good feeling to have home and love around that it was enough to get me by til the next visit of a friend (plus I have comfort foods now ;p). It made it easier to get to know people as well because since he didn't know anyone, he had to meet them... which gave me the chance to get to meet them as well. We went to Bamburgh, Edinburgh, and London. We got to meet up with Mitch and that was fun. It was a double dose of home, and I was so happy. I'll put up a picture or two when I'm done editing them.

Michael, Hannah (Jackson), and I spent about 2 1/2 hours on planning a fifteen minute assembly... which isn't quite done yet... for tomorrow. It was so boring.

cool huh?

p.s. the weather has been wicked nice.... and there was an earthquake the other day.

It IS bathroom... not toilets.

Everyone, this is Lindsay. "Hi, Lindsay." I never really thought I'd ever have a heart for country music again... and, then, I met Lindsay. She's a country fiend, and that makes my very happy. It's funny the things you miss when you are away from home. You know some things you will miss before you leave, but it's funny because you find that you don't really miss those things like you thought you would... and you find yourself missing things you never noticed before. I also miss normal music... not dance/chav anthems on the radio. Anyway, Lindsay's cool. We're foreigners together, and we like to moan about the British culture sometimes (because they make it so easy).

More to come...

you wish you were there...

I feel that my blog is highly inadequate compared to mitch's... something will have to be done about this...

It's Just Been One of Those Days.

One of those days that through everything that I do, God teaches me something new and wonderful. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long one.

This morning in our Launch session (for those of you who don't know, Launch is the name of the gap year program[me] I am a part of at All Saints Church), we were talking about the Lifeshapes. You might not know what those are--I didn't. In fact at first, they were quite possibly the most annoying things I'd ever loaned my ears to. To this day, I still find the triangle really annoying... but that's a different story. Today, we learned about the square. A square has how many sides? If you can't remember, revert back to your 4 year-old-self and remember the red square, the blue circle, and the yellow triangle. That's right, it's got four. To save me the hassle of explaining what it looks like and you the frustration of not undersatanding, I have drawn us all a picture.

Now, thanks to Facebook's Graffiti application, we are well equipped with not only a stunning visual but also a vibrant piece of art. This morning we only covered what you see as D1 and D2 with a slight hint of L1 and L2 because you really can't learn about one without understanding the other. This is what appears to be the walk of a Christian. I didn't get it at first either, don't worry. D1 stands for discipleship on the first level L1 for leadership. You can't get to leadership until you've gone all the way around the outer D's. D1 is the begining of faith when everything is really exciting. It's full of kairos moments (moments when God speaks to you and it changes your life) and only kairos moments. It's downright blissful. You are completely incompetent, but you are also so lost in your enthusiasm that doesn't bother you at all.

Now D2... That's where it begins to get a bit viscious. D2 is when you have to respond and deal with the Kairos moments of D1. D2 is when you have lost all of your enthusiasm and you aren't any more confident or competent. This is where most Christians say, "Woa, God... what am I doing? I don't remember signing up for this. I'm gonna go back to D1 because at least I understand that life." Most Christians don't make it past D2... in fact, most Christians don't even make it to the middle of D2. They just give up. They don't understand that they are supposed to persevere and move on to D3, D4, and so on. D3 is when you start seeing the glory. Your enthusiasm is back and it's based on the knowledge you've gained through persevering.

As we were discussing, I found that I went through D1 before I moved here. I had a whole year to be excited to be coming here--to be responding to what God told me. Then, two weeks after I got here, I fell off of D1 and I was in D2. I'm still in D2. I'm sticking it out though. You could say I don't have a choice so that's nothing special, but this is where I let you know how wrong you are. There's nothing keeping me here. I can buy a plane ticket home at any time because I'm not under a signed contract. I could go back to the D1 comforts in Franklin tonight (if I could find a flight home). I can't wait for D3. I want to see God's glory.

That's just one thing I learned.

Randomly through my boredom and my Facebook addiction, I stumbled across a website called Boundless. It's one of the coolest things I've ever found on the web. It's a Christian webzine with loads of articles written by different people all compiled into an online library with topics from being single to college to careers to sex to politics. It's not just a blatent you should or shouldn't do this, but it explains the stances it takes. It's kindof a smaller scale apologetics. There was a good featured article about not everyone being called to wait until they were 30+ to get married. I never like when people freak out about their friends getting married to young. It's not their choice, and it's not their right to get angry about. There were also articles on what I've been dealing with and wondering, and I learned new things. It's worth a look.

I leave you with one last thing.

Last night the sermon was on praying heaven down. I was certain that it was going to be the most boring sermon I'd ever heard in my life. I was positive I had already heard everything that I was about to hear. I was sure that I was going to count the seconds until Lindsay stopped talking. But... it wasn't. I hadn't. I didn't. "We don't take prayer seriously." I can't think of a more powerful statement than that. Honestly? Honestly she's right. She wasn't talking about our posture or the somber attitude that normally goes along with prayer. She was talking about our attitude. I can't think of a time before I came hear that I actually thought God was listening or that my little prayer would make any difference, so I used to have the most flippant attitude towards prayer. When you know and pray as you know that God listens and prayer is the most important lifeline, great things happen. You might have to wait for them, but when you put an effort into your prayer life you certainly notice the difference. I can't wait to see God's kingdom come into the lives of my friends, Stockton, and Nashville, and until I do, I'm going to keep praying for that revolution to come.

Ketchup

Things in my life have turned slightly upside down for a bit I guess. I am okay with 2/3 of that, but not with the other 1/3.

Dave didn't get the Associate Minister position... that means he, Caroline, and little Daniel will be moving sometime after Easter. This makes me incredibly sad because Caroline is my mentor, and Dave is the object of our (those of us at the church) humour. Alan was officially liscenced to the Stockton Parish Church, which means there will be a new Alan/Dave within the coming weeks. I'm glad the spikey haired man did not get it. He freaked Michael and I out. Just waiting to see who it's gonna be now.

Well I'll be living at the Farishes' starting tomorrow night for a week... so... that's going to be new. I will end up living with them after Easter (as the Wakes have extended the offering of their home until then) as the other people I would have been living with have a cat... to which I am allergic. I know that some of you will say, "Oh but you spent the night at my house, and I have a cat!" to which I will reply "I'm slightly alright with one-off evenings with cats, but even then my nose is stuffy and my throat is itchy... so a whole term with cats is no good." And my other option was Dave and Caroline... and they are moving sometime then... Sooo I'm left with the Farishes' house. Should be good fun though.

Andy's coming for nearly 3 weeks in February. I am pretty freaking excited about that. I simply cannot wait. It'll be nice to have a slice of home (he'll be bringing stuff my mum sent me) and it'll be LOVELY to have him here!! He'll be here for Valentine's Day and my birthday!! :) I think Andy and I are gonna take a trip to London, so that will be neat! Mitch is in England... he's down south so we'll probably meet him there one day.

For my gap year, I've finally figured out what I want to do with it... (only taken me 2 1/2 months, but oh well) I'm gonna clean houses... yep that's right. Help clean houses for those who have a genuine need... If they are busy with uni, single mum, ill, or just old. I like cleaning, so this would be good. I got my first house on mondays... and it's actually with Jenna. So we'll see how that goes.

I ran round Preston Park today... that park goes back way further than I thought it did. Today was the first day in a while that it hasn't rained. It was sunny and fairly nice out.

I'm in love with Sufjan Stevens and Kings of Leon.

Life in England really is bizar...

Update

Well life in the past couple of days has been a little rough, but at the moment, things are absolutely great.

I've started journaling... it's half prayer journal half straight up journal. It's good, and relieves loads of stress and frustration that I just can't get out any other way.

I'm on the path to forgiving the U.S. postal service. I've gotten 3 out of four boxes, and all but one (that I know of) card have made their way to people in America.

Life is just getting back on track. Still waiting to see what's up with Eastwood (that being my laptop), but I've worked out computing and such. Things are about to get really busy, but I'm okay with that. Everything is starting back up after term like the clubs and meetings. Andy gets here the morning of the 9th (of February,so I'm really looking forward to that as well.

Well... of to Embassy.

It's odd, but Eastwood's little malfunction has been really good for me. Maybe not for my pocketbook, but for me, it's been grand.

sigh.

My laptop power cord connection thing is broke.
It could cost me a fortune to fix.

I really hate my life right now.

(this blog brought to you by: The Farish Computer)

I know I haven't really said much lately... but... I really don't have much to say.

It is officially 2008 as of yesterday.... good things and bad things like every other year, but this year I've felt more blessed... and on New Year's Eve I just felt peace that this is home for the next 7 months. It is. I've started embracing that fact instead of beating with a stick.

I still miss Tennessee and my friends, but this is where I live now, and I need to be putting my all into here and now, not partially then and partially there.

I think I have to move this month... to a different house... with a different family. I am not at peace with that. I don't want to move... but at the same time I do... but then again, I really don't. I'm comfortable here in my room... and it's a stone's throw away from the church... unlike all of my other options... but then... outside of my room I'm not comfortable. I know that's partially my fault, if not all my fault. It's not easy living in someone else's home.

The postal service owes me Christmas presents. 4 Boxes of them, and I'm angry, frustrated, and slightly depressed at their lack of service. I don't care about the stuff inside at all. I just want the boxes. I just want the comfort of knowing they aren't lost in the mail and a waste of money. And I have to move... so I want them before I have a new address. U.S. Postal Service, I am not impressed.

In Case You Didn't Know...

It's New Years Day, folks.

I'm really starting to settle in now... I know it's been two months, but it takes a really long time to be settled in for me. I think this is record timing.

I'm back from Lanzarote... I have a tan, unlike the rest of the U.K. because of their failure to see the sun. I went with the Farish clan which was so nice to be with family. I'm now an adopted Farish... which is nice... because I finally have a sister called Rachel, and I love her to pieces. Now that I finally have a friend who is not a boy, I really feel as if I can last these next 7 months. It just makes me realize how much I miss my friends back home.

My family got a puppy. I'm jealous. I want to see her and hold her.

The rain in ______ stays mainly in the plain...

....guess where i'm going for Christmas and you are not....

Only... I'm going to an island... not a plain full of rain. If you don't get it.. Google it.

Yellow is the Colo(u)r of Pee

Santa used to be yellow? God bless commercialism.

Christmas is here in less than two weeks. If I'm honest, I miss home terribly. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, and I do feel at home, but I miss my family, Andy, Sarah, their family, and my friends. I don't think one really knows how many Christmas traditions they have until they don't have their family to understand and share them with.

England is invading my immune system. It's been a week since my last cold, and I've another that's worse than the first. I'm sure they're just British diseases that everyone else is immune to, so I get to be sickly all alone.

Well I feel so broke up

I want to go home.



I have random fits where I just want to go home... and to be honest... I always really want to go home... but I love it here so much, it's just that sometimes my love for home outweighs my love for here. I know this is where God wants me, so I stay, and I really do love it. I hate almost everything about the actual living here bit, but I love the people and the scenery.

I probably wrote my mom the most depressing email earlier tonight... Lindsay Browning is awesome.



My boyfriend is positively amazing... He let me watch tv via skype... I got to watch Cash Cab and about 20 minutes of Bear Grylls... and in between those, there was a random show on how to's... really helped my home sickness and my bad attitude in general. It's nice to have some comfort from home even if it's blurry and not the best quality... even just listening to American tv is nice. Tv here isn't the greatest...
how to make paintballs and diamonds... and the best episode of Man Vs. Wild.

In case you didn't know, I'm kinda dating someone right now. Well... not kinda, I am, and have been for the past few months. His name is Andy. Yes, it's serious, and yes, I really miss him.

So today has been a good day... as far as Thanksgivings go though... probably the worst in my life. I miss my family a lot. I miss the Autumnness of Thanksgiving, and the general thankful attitude that everyone has (you should have that attitude all the time, I know). I miss the buttload of food.... tuuuurkey! I will not however miss the leftovers.... Hooray!

This morning in the Launch meeting we learned that we are created as spiritual beings, and listening to God should be really easy... and I've found that it really is if a little effort is put forth. We tried this journaling technique.. it was awkward at first, but once you get going, it's nearly impossible to stop, and you learn so much.

My momma called me on the phone today. Padre was sitting right next to her, and it was really nice to hear their voices... so actually... today has been a really good Thanksgiving...

I'm gonna edit pics and put them up later tonight.

"What's a Canadian geek?"

...the same as a British geek only Canadian... duh, Hannah...

Well... another busy week in my life. I feel a little ice breaker is in need before we just delve in.

Micah's helpful tips for survival for those visiting England:

1. Cars drive on the left side of the road. People walk backwards.
2. Eel pie does not taste like sushi. It doesn't even taste like food.
3. Mind your head.
4. Do not flaunt your straight teeth. They get quite angry.
5. Refer to everyone you meet as a character from Harry Potter. I hear Brits love that.
6. Tell all your British friends how much better the U.S. is. Shoot fireworks off on the 4th of July (and 5th of November) and remind them what 1776 means across the pond.

Well... I'm still living, ...so... thank you, Micah.

I've learned a bit about the churches around here... and unfortunately in some of the most needed places, the church has given up or just become apathetic towards its community. It's extremely irritating. Seriously... in Stockton, there was about 5 churches on one street within 3 minutes walking distance from each other... and they are just dead. Hannah said she wrote one of them to see if we could work a kids club there (there are so many just roaming that I saw), and they said they just wanted to stick to their Sunday morning very traditional, stuffy services.

What? Why, when you have so much potential in the community, would you not take advantage of such an opportunity? It's excruciatingly mind blowing. I really think that they need a come to Jesus Kairos moment because they have obviously forgotten what it's all about.

I've been reading a book called what you didn't learn from your parents about sex and it's a really good read. It's written by Matthew Paul Turner (yes, the guy that started XXXChurch.com) and it's honest. It makes you think; it makes you reflect; It forces you to be honest with yourself. It answers questions that people are afraid to ask in the church. I don't see why sex and the like is such a taboo in the church when everyone thinks about it in their life. Obviously, there are proper forums for such a discussion, but why isn't it brought up more than in three day conferences (that happen rarely) about waiting until marriage and porn is bad speeches when that's not even the half of it? We're naturally curious (that's how God made us), and since the church has done a rubbish job teaching the subject, we're forced to find answers from anyone or anything that might give us an answer- regardless its truth (or lack thereof).

Anyway... I'm off my soapbox now.

The new Killers cd (Sawdust) is fantastic.

I missed home Saturday. I suppose you could say that I was even mildly depressed. Seriously. I prayed about it, and I was given answers almost immediately. Since I've been here I've really seen the power of prayer and just how much it works.

I just got a call from Mitch Miller via Skype... that was a nice conversation...

I just remembered something on my street that has to do with helicopters, police, and a prison... but it will have to wait as it's two in the morning. I've got an extremely busy day tomorrow; I'm going to bed. Pictures soon as well, I promise.

WELL.... I'm in England.

I love my life, and I'm settling in well. I definitely know this is where God wants and has wanted me to be. I'm just surrounded by encouragement from my leaders... or bosses... whichever you want to call them. I prefer leaders cause I like leaders better because I'd rather follow instead of being a slave.

I'm a little bit frustrated with life at the moment though. Just with the fact that it's hard to make friends when you don't have a good social network like school or work... I suppose Launch is my job, which makes it more frustrating when not many people come to church in the first place. I love everyone at All Saints though. They're really welcoming, and super nice.

I miss knowing everyone like I did back home though. That's probably the hardest I guess... having to meet everyone at once.

Tim and Lindsay are excellent youth workers, and they are really awesome people in general. They have really big hearts and I can see how bad they want change in the area, and it makes me long for change as well. Hannah is amazing with all that she does. She's got so many projects to be working on, and still have discipleship with Michael and I (which I enjoy thoroughly). They're all just so busy trying to impact Teesside and just giving their all, and it's just really refreshing to see people truly living out what they believe. It's also really frustrating just to see so much of their effort seeming to be thrown down the drain, but I can tell and really feel God moving in this place, and I'm just terribly excited.

It's a whole different culture here... you'd expect it to be the same as America... and for some things it is, but at the same time, it's really not. Church here isn't as geared towards those in the church, but rather getting people to come to church... at least that's how it is at All Saints. I'm sure though, that you can't have Bible studies when no one's really coming consistently each week. I think for the most part the only thing focused internally is Sunday morning and evening worship. Everything else is more outreaching and evangelistic. And I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, it's just different. It makes me realize that I'm not going to be spoon fed like I was back home. I'm going to have to stop being lazy and start learning to used a knife and a fork on my own.

I like that I can walk anywhere I need to go. The other day I walked to Yarm and back (only a 30 min walk one way) by myself just to explore and visit Ste in his workplace. And if I'm ever in a pinch, I can just walk to Tesco by myself. I've been to Tesco about six or 7 times in the past week. Saw fireworks last Monday as it was Guy Fawkes day. I'm sure I spelled that wrong, but I'm not in the mood to correct myself. Went to an American diner... it might just be me, but... we don't serve mint burgers or something weird like that. They had some very unAmerican things on the menu.

As for Launch and what I'm doing there; Michael, Hannah, and I have had 2 assemblies so far. One at Bewlyey in Billingham and one at St. Mary's School in Longnewton. They've gone well, and I really like doing them. Mondays I have Launch discipleship and Fuse. Fuse is just a club for the younger kids, and it's probably my favorite so far. Wednesdays I've got Big Ted, Powerpack, a Christian Union at Egglescliffe school (being called Engage to plug for the church event wednesday nights) and Engage... not always every Wednesday. Big Ted is with toddlers and babies. I'm helping with puppets tomorrow. Powerpack is an after school club for the kids that go to St. Mary's and it's a lot of fun as well. I can't wait to meet Byron tomorrow. Thursdays I have Launch team time, and other than that, it's my day off. Fridays I have Toddlers and 360. 360 is basically the same as Fuse for older kids, but not as structured. It may not seem like much, but there are always random things thrown in like assemblies and other church events.

Last Saturday I helped set up, serve tea/coffee, and tear down for a worship workshop that lasted all day. This Saturday I am helping with Amy Burns' new project called G:em and they are having an event... aaaall day. I will be there 8:15 am-10:30 pm (if I'm lucky).

Anyway, I am bored of writing this post. Hopefully I won't have to play catch up like this and will have more time to blog. Pictures and such to come later.

I'm just being honest.

I'm actually really sad to be leaving tomorrow... this is such a foreign feeling right now... I always thought that I'd be so happy. This isn't the room I'm going to sleep in anymore... my family won't be the family I come home to anymore... I won't have my dog to spaz at me anymore... I won't have friends calling me anymore... It's all so mildly depressing.

Sorry for the downer.

I'ma Miss This

They're running out like the French!

So everyone wants to hang out before I leave, and they all want to hang out at the same time... choose a different day, people... but do it soon cause my days in this country are numbered (11)!

I can't hang out this Wednesday (24), Friday (26), Saturday (27), Sunday (28), next Monday (29), Tuesday (30), Thursday (1), or Friday (2)... and obviously not saturday the third as I am leaving that day.

13 Days.

It's like waiting for Christmas.

What the?!

This really pisses me off.. not that Dumbledore was gay... but that she waited this long to say anything. It changes a lot about how I would have viewed/interpreted the last book.

16 Days.

I'm going to England.
I'm counting down.
I'm so excited.
I'm gonna miss my friends.
I'm gonna miss my family.
I'm going to England.

You'd think

...that by now I would know how to think before speaking.

Nope. Not really.

Well...

Huh.

Juvenile Delinquent Finch

Facebook graffiti is starting to own my life... and this is how I know that I have waaay too much time on my little idle hands.

The visa app. is in the mail. I find myself not wanting to talk about it. In fact, it makes me so nervous I don't know if I feel like throwing up or crying. Well... come Friday October 19, I should know... so don't ask until then unless you want my tears and/or lunch on your shirt.

I'm pretty confident, but at the same time, I can think of a million things I should have said, done, or not done since that package left my care. I'm gonna try not to think about it... but who am I kidding? I'm a worrier!

Snowden. Check 'em out. I like "Anti Anti," "Black Eyes," and "Between the Rent." They are definitely worth taking a listen.

This for the time being, shall be good Wednesday because it has been a heck of a lot better than yesterday.

Dear little boy in my house right now,

I am so sorry your mother somehow tricked you into coming to my house to sit around with a bunch of old ladies eating tacos that talk loudly. I know what it's like to be told something's going to be fun, only to find that gouging your eyes out is more entertaining. I was tricked a lot as a little child; I feel your pain.

Sincerely,
Weird girl who said hello in the kitchen.

On a different note...

Sometimes I cannot wait.
And sometimes I do not want to go at all.
I'm gonna miss a lot.
Either way.
I'm gonna miss a lot.

I love this band so much.
I can't get enough.

I know.

I know I said I knew a lot of things are gonna be hard in life.
Now I really know.

I was talking to Amy Haywood tonight and she told me she was currently learning that instead of searching for God's will, search for God himself because it's God who reveals his will, not us uncovering it. And how am I supposed to let God reveal something to me when I'm not even paying any attention to him.

And I'm just so impatient. I want everything in my life to just snap to and happen right away. Then I remember I'm only eighteen and I have all my life to struggle and to grow.

And I honestly don't want to work at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Two years ago this month, I was on a journey that I would have never expected to happen. I never thought I would ever leave the country, and there I was going to freaking England. It's hard to believe it's been so long. And this is the point where it actually stings my heart to know that I may not be going again. I mean, I know I miss it, but this is the point where it actually hits me that I'm not there... For the past two years this is the time that I'm counting down the days and the hours until my flight leaves making very last minute preparations... but I don't have a flight to count down to anymore. And it kinda sucks.

Micah is Twenty!

Congratulations on becoming an old man!


I stole that last picture from claire...

Augusta was fun. Nothing extremely eventful happened. The car rides were more than enjoyable. Sarah and Curtis are a couple of my most favorite people. Went to the lake on Saturday and that was good. I like some swimming and I got a tiny tan! Other than that we just chilled and watched some movies. Left Sunday after lunch.

Today... well I suppose technically yesterday... was Micah's birthday. We all went to the Old Spaghetti factory... pictures to come later.