The Departed

I love this movie. Go watch it... unless you don't like violence or swearing.
Mark Wahlberg adds some hilarious comic relief, and Nicholson is a gangsta til the end.

Check out the trailor here.

I'm Back

With the rest of my life starting, I figured this was a good time to pick this blog back up.

Today was my official last day of school. Went to take my physics exam, and left 2 hours later. Boo Ya.

All the family is coming this weekend. I hate cleaning. Dang graduation.

I was rereading all my posts and was surprised at how much God has directed my life in the past year. Certain things I worried about took care of themselves; I find myself looking back and laughing.

Hopefully that's the same this time.

I have to raise $5,000 to be able to go to England this fall. I want $6-7,000 in case there's something random I have to pay for. You never know. I won't stress this time.

I'm always talking about how great this next year will be, but sometimes I think I am pulling the wool over my own eyes because it's not going to always be easy (if easy at all).

The things I'm going to miss the most next year:
Rachel
Sara
Charis
Traci
Nichole
Kara
My Church
My Family
My Dog
The Weather
Driving
My Room
American Food
Feeling At Home


Matthew 6.34
Jeremiah 29.11-13

Sometimes things are Different From what We Want.

Then, on a completely different note, there's always White Ninja.

Lost

I've lost a lot of things recently.
I am absent minded.
Too much so for my own good.

Dead Bunnies

Grade A material.
I've been laughing out loud all day.
People think I've gone mad.
It's hilarious.
Then, BAM!
It's serious.
Currie doesn't come off as "holier than thou" either.
It's not a self help book.
It's not a you are terrible book.
It's not a cheesey book.
It's a conversation.
I've almost finished it in one day, with school and work.
It's just so good.

"The Beauty of Grace is that it Makes Life Not Fair"

So I constantly think I've got this whole following God thing down, but then something happens, I'm thrown off course and I feel like I'm lost with no way home.

A lot goes on in my life that I don't really care to share. I'm not a sharing person when it comes to my life. I keep it to myself. And it's not like I'm about to change that on here, so don't get your hopes up.

I just find myself saying that certain things aren't fair, but in the back of my mind, I understand, thank God it's not. I don't mean that in a cheesy, "Aw, my friend got this and I didn't" kind of thing. I mean that in a "I can't do anything about this, and I'm so confused" kind of way. There's a constant acceleration of annoying thoughts that go through my head that make me feel like I live the hard life. Financially, emotionally. I mope around and don't do anything all day. I know there are people worse off than me, but for some reason, I just don't care.

Frankly, it's pathetic, and it disgusts me. Forget that.

So it's time to practice the patience that I don't have (it's a virtue you know).

On another note, I just spent $84.04 at Borders. For the life of me how did that happen?! Oh... wait... because I wasted twelve of those dollars since I had to buy the hardback version for school because they were sold out of paperback, and it's my fault for not getting it sooner. Crap. My purchase included:

Kite Runner: Kahled Hosseini (obviously the school book)
Captivating: John and Stasi Eldredge
Waking the Dead: John Eldgredge
Dead Bunnies: Brian Currie

So I've got loads of reading ahead of me, including How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon D. Fee and Douglas Stuart of which I borrowed from Jacob Strother.

And apparently I didn't have to work today, instead I have to work tomorrow... what a pleasant surprise.

I'm out.

New Age

It's crazy when you finally understand something.

You've heard it all your life, it makes you numb without you realising it. You hear it and you shrugg it off.

But there's something magical (yea, that's right, magical) about understanding something for the first time.

And there's something beautiful about God's affirmation.

It is the living word, and God does listen to me. God does interact with me. I just have to listen. I don't feel good enough because I'm not- I never will be.

That's what Jesus is for.

hey blogosphere,

i have no friends!

"That kind of myopic, 'it's all about me' vision, is the crippling by-product of not knowing who He is and who we are not"

Something occured to me while I was eating my turkey today. Not that I'm thankful for anything in particular, or even thankful in general. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful about loads of things, but that wasn't it. Not this thanksgiving.

I sat and I listened, I mean really listened, to my parents talk about their lives before they met each other and when they did meet each other. It was just weird.

Who thinks about their parents before they were married?

Mine didn't come into existence until my birth. Suddenly 2 adults and a two-year-old boy came into existence right when I was born. In fact, that's when the world started, I may add.

The history books? Not real. Other countries? Not real. Other states? Not real. Other cities? Not real. Other neighborhoods? Not real. Other houses? Not real.

Now I know they are actually real, but I live in the mindset that of course those things are real, but I never think about them as real. If they don't directly relate to me, that's just a sideshow as to what's going on in my life.

"Lately It Just Seems To Me"

like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

Maintain Consciousness | Relient K

Haven't blogged in 2 or three weeks, and a two post day?!
I know, the universe is upside down.

Lifegroups was a big help tonight.

Don't worry about your future. God has plans for you.
Do not brag about your future. You do not know those plans He has for you.
Pray and spend time with God, and He'll tell you.

My only problem is that I cannot focus.

I don't have a huge problem with trust.
I don't have a huge problem with having to know why.
I don't have a huge problem with rebelling.

I swear I have ADD or ADHD or sommat.

...which is daft.

What? Free Time?! Seriously.

Long time no blog.
I've been meaning to.
I just have a life now.
It's weird, I'm telling you.

The flight back from good ole Teesside (rather manchester since that's where we flew out of) was good. Pretty much slept the whole way. I miss everyone, but mainly I miss going into the schools and talking to the kids, and I miss the work. Sure it was tiring, but it was a good kind of tiring if ya know what I'm sayin'.

Life has not exactly slowed down.
Life has not exactly gotten any easier.
Life has not exactly become any kinder.
Life has punched me in the face.
I'm missing a few teeth and have a black eye.
Not really, but you know.

I'm enjoying life more now.
Taking time to enjoy the little things.
Talking to friends.
Hanging out with friends.
Sitting on the computer doing nothing.
Sitting and doing nothing.
It's beautiful.

My last post is the most emo thing I have ever read much less written. Good gracious.
Wow, a lot of life has happened since my last post.
Insane.
I need to update this thing.
Maybe a new template if I am ever extremely bored again.
Most likely not.
We'll see.

Depression

It sets.
One more day.
Sad.
Tomorrow will be good.
Still sad.
I will miss my friends.
My best friends.

:(

Teesside, England, UK.

Eat it, suckas.

Anyway, this trip has been better than last year even. I mean, it's a little more hectic, but it's easier to talk to people I already know people.

It's beautiful.

My host family is so cool. I really enjoy staying with them. In fact, I will be pretty sad to leave.

But really, I should be here next year, so it will be sad, but I will be back, and that should keep me from crying huge emo tears.

I am seriously not emo though.

Yes, it is 3:21 AM.

No, I am not going to sleep this morning.
Really?
Yes.
Crap.
See you tomorrow.
Totally.

The Hardest Part is Getting Started

Bring on the caffine.

Oh my God, I am going to England tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Dreams and Wishes

Are they supposed to be realistic or not?
If they are too realistic, they are no fun and easy to achieve.
If they are too fantastical, they fill your head with nonsense.

But what is the point in having a dream if it's realistic?
Is it safe to have a dream that's not?
What is the point in having a wish if it's not realistic?
Can you get lost in wishes.
Is it comforting or scary?

Do you believe in them?

Struggle!

"He must become greater; I must become less."
-John 3:30

"That kind of myopic, 'it's all about me' vision, is the crippling by-product of not knowing who He is and who we are not [...]"
-Louie Giglio

Sometimes I can be a real human and I make things about me. It's not about me. It's never been about me. I'm just a dot in the story line of the world. No one will remember me when I'm gone. I'm just a human. Sometimes I'm reminded about how much it's not about me and I feel like a real jerk.

It's like fighting a bear, and I always lose, and I end up with scratches on my face and a missing limb. It kinda sucks.

I Miss People.

I'm tired of working.
I'm tired of school.
I'm tired of cleaning.
I'm tired of boredom.
I'm tired of internet.
I'm tired of reading.
I'm tired of writing.
I'm tired of editing.
I'm tired of sitting.
I'm tired of painting.
I'm tired of procrastincating.
I'm tired of emailing.


I miss people.
I miss Kara.
I miss hanging out.
I miss Ashley.
I miss talking.
I miss Lizzy.
I miss faces.
I miss Micah.
I miss voices.
I miss Anna.
I miss jokes.
I miss Colby.
I miss stories.
I miss Allie.

I miss life.


I suppose I really have time. I just choose to spend it horribly.
I have a lot to say, but not enough time to say it.
I'll save it for another day.

God is Pretty Much Amazing

my england trip is paid for.

wait what?!

yes. yes it is.

Random

So yesterday was ten times better.
Except my art teacher got pissed at me.
But I don't really care.
My English teacher postponed our paper stuffs.
England is in 13 days.
That's pretty exciting.
I kind of have a lot of stress at the moment.
It's alright though because it eventually subsides.
Don't send out emails with random prayer requests of other people.
It's awkward.
Especially if you end with "Guess that's the scoop for now."
Seriously.

Just 15 More Days

I have a lot of English homework and it came out of no where. 3 days of research, a week later 4 paragraphs (a page or more per paragraph) are due friday and I still have crap-to-no sources. DUDE, WHAT THE HECK?!

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come home”
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

I So Hate Consequences | Relient K

"Well I Guess if You Say so I'll Have to Pack my Things and Go"

"Hit the Road Jack" | Ray Charles

It's a good feeling to just get something off of your chest. Honestly. It does.

I finally told my parents that God is calling me to do a gap year in England with All-Saint's. It definitely went better than I ever could have imagined.

After worship last night I told Amy-Jo that I wanted to tell my parents because I couldn't really keep it in any more and I needed to tell them before I went to England in 17 days. She helped me put together a mini packet of a letter composed by her, a couple of emails from the vicar, and a basically meaningless printout of the LAUNCH program web page. Surprisingly enough it helped me tell them, and it was something tangeable. Something to show them it wasn't a spur of the moment thing.

I took the long way home from church last night. I was too scared to tell them. I didn't know how I was going to do it, I didn't know how to do it. As soon as I walked out of the church building, the tears flooded down my face. It was something I knew I had to do and it was something I knew would change my life forever. I was scared to tell my parents. I was scared of dissapointment. I was scared of them saying no. I was scared of them saying yes.

All I could do was pray. It helped...for about fifteen minutes. Then it was D-Day.

I walk into the house. I say the usual "hello" and walk in to the kitchen to find some food. I see it but I'm to nauseous to attempt to even put food on a plate. I walk back into the living room.

"Can I talk to you guys?"
A collective yes follows.
"Can I turn the tv off?"
A collective uh, yea, glance at each other follows. This must be serious.
"I have something to tell you."
More glances.
"You love me no matter what, right?"
"Uhhhhhh...yeeeeea..."
"Well I've been trying to figure out how to tell you something for a while."
"What is it?"
(At this point mom completely dominates the conversation)
"Well I feel that God is calling me to do a gap year and (tears start flowing) in England and I don't know how you guys feel about that." as I hand mom the mini packet.

My dad calms me down and gives me a hug and tells me that this is a good thing. God has called me to do something and he will support me and not stand in my way. The worst thing I could do is not to follow it.
My mom on the other hand just stares at me for a good ten minutes not saying a word. I can see tears in her eyes. She finally says something, but of course it's negative. I will lose the Hope Scholarship by doing this.

I'm honestly fine with that.

Finally she starts talking and it's becoming more positive and she starts joking. That is the Kimsey family stamp of "I'm getting used to this."

So now I am in the process of filling out the Launch Gap Year application, the parents will be in the process of checking out visas and other odds and ends that need to be worried about. They have probably 9 months to help plan and pray. I have probably 9 months to plan, pray, and save. It's not going to be cheap.

I'm in the process of getting ready spiritually for this mission trip in 16 days and the gap year in less than a year. I know God wouldn't call me to do something I couldn't do. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. That's 10 months away from my parents in another country with weird food. It's not something that if anything goes wrong, "Oh well. I leave in a few days anyway." It's roughly 10 months for me to stick it out.

There's going to be a lot of trust put into God in the next couple of years. I'm going to have to embrace a buttload of humility as well. There's no way I could do any of this if I was even a little bit prideful. Something that I constantly deal with. I'm pretty sure pride is the stem of all my other flaws.

Yea so I'm sure that this house is going to hear millions of prayers from each person in the family. Good.

You can pray too. And by "You can pray too." I mean, pray for me.

AUTUMN

It's the first day of fall. My favorite season of the year.

Purging of My Life

So I went to the MTSU football game on thursday. It was a frickin' shut-out. Yea. Sarah enjoys going to school there I guess. It was fun to hang out with her and Curtis.

During the fourth quater, we went to find Colby, and I found him and got to talk to him about college and lack-there-of.

I just talked to Amy-jo today about this whole gap year, and she's going to help me find out more about it. And we were trying to think of how to tell the parents, and so she's going to help me a bit with that as well.

So far, everyone has supported me, so is that a good sign for the parental reaction? Who knows?

This afternoon my mom had a spa party; and now my hands, feet, face, and lips are all soft. And Kim Couch's mom came and asked me if I knew what college I wanted to go to. I just smiled and said no. Luckily the madre wasn't paying too much attention. I can feel the college talks comming on though. Any second...

I gave my testimony in front of the middle school this morning. Made mini Stumps (jessica) go first. It was pretty fun. I enjoyed it.

Micah and I hung out tuesday I think it was. This week has been pretty long, but that was a good highlight. It had been a while since I had talked to him, so that was quite the entertainment.

WELL, I am going to be late for work. Yay me.

THE END.

Awake and Dreaming

This is how excited I am. I took this pictures while talking to my friend, Matty. In 33 days I will get to see his face and everyone elses' that I miss. Just 33 days until we are in the schools and at the church (whichever it may be).

A lot's been going on. Nothing bad persay. But a lots been going on.

Senior year is proving itself to be good. Not much homework. Easy classes. And it's not like I took those classes to make my year easy. They just turned out that way.

I'm pretty dang sure that God is calling me to do a gap year over in the land I love so. I just wish he would tell my parents this. I don't know how or when to tell them. I don't want to endure a huge fight or anything. I don't want to feel like my mom is dissapointed in me. I don't want to feel like my dad thinks I am throwing my life away. I just want to do what God tells me to.

I've found out that it wouldn't even be that expensive. Besides the plane tickets, it would only be 15 pounds (around 30 dollars) a week for food. There are plenty of jobs that I could take to earn that. They would house me with a family, so really I wouldn't pay rent.

The good things about it as well are that it gives me time to plan what God wants me to do with my life, I will be doing mission work as well, colleges will be able to see a higher g.p.a. than what I have when I send in transcripts to colleges (not that mine is bad at all), and I can save for college while I am over there.

I think that I will do the gap year come home and go to college. I think I want to be a minister and I will most likely minor in graphic design.

I have good friends and I love them.

Kroger is the place to work.

Only 33 more days.

FRUSTRATION!

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I'm frustrated.

Basket Cases and Fires

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. That's just stupid.

So why would I light my lamp and then hide it under a basket? I'm not stupid.

Besides, I'm sure that if I left it under the basket long enough the basket would catch fire and the light would shine anyway. So why suppress the light that is lit and have itself painfully force it's way to be seen?

Spoke Too Soon

Oh, it's another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a [girl] to do
I guess [s]he better find one soon

[...]

Oh I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

My Stupid Mouth | John Mayor




Oh snap what did I do?

I Think Walt Disney Discovered It

Pluto is no longer a planet and to that I say good riddence. If you can't hack it as a planet, don't pretend to be one.

Although, how am I ever supposed to feel whole again?

My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine....

NINE WHAT?!

But hey, when you don't have enough gravity, you don't have enough gravity.

No Matter How Rotten You Feel

I am blessed with friends who make me laugh.

Are you?

Knackered Converse

Senioritis, just might kick my butt, but I am not that worried about it.

Physics is going to be one of those classes. One of those classes that everyone loves. Including me.

My study hall teacher thought I was freshman. She saw me driving yesterday, and was kind of freaked out. Well, I am not a freshman.

I'm going to paint a collage of the Arctic Monkeys for art. I need to figure out what to do after that.

English assigments suck. They appear way easier on the outside than they really are. I take it back. They are easy. They are just time consuming.

College scares me. Well no, the searching and applying part of college scares me. It makes me incredibly anxious. I don't know where I want to go, and I need to find scholarships.

Economics scares me. That's something in life that has always scared me though. It's frightning to think that one thing could potentially send us into an economic, spiraling depression. Maybe that's just me, but I worry about it a lot.

Usually I'm not afraid of anything.

Good Ole Jews

"Don’t you see? . . . The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—'Thou mayest'—that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open.” -Steinbeck (East of Eden)

Oh the Hebrew language often applies new meaning to my life. There have been a few things in my life that I just don't want to apply. I want to keep it to myself and just do what I want to do and not have it affect my relationship with God.

The only problem with that it that it leaves my relationship stagnant because it draws me further from God. No one likes stagnicity (yea I just made up a word, what.) if water is stagnant, you do not drink it. When a relationship is stagnant, you do not go back to it. So therefore, that stagnicity turns into nonexistence.

I've been struggling to choose the right thing to do. I don't want to do the right thing. My head wants to do the right thing, but my heart doesn't. My head has left my heart behind, and that's a problem. I can't really do what my heart doesn't want to. It would just be like a shell of me going around doing things without feeling, and people wouldn't understand why I do them.

But as I sat here and debated myself more than I was talking to Traci about these things, I started looking up some stuff for a paper I have to write and found this quote. I had been trying to tell myself I can't help how my heart feels about this, when clearly that is not the case. For a few years, I have been told you can't help how your heart feels, but really, that isn't true.

I mean think about it. I'm not going to explain why it's not true beause that's something you have to think about. It's something that you will have to wrestle with just like I did.

World, You Vex Me

Why do your standards have to be different from mine?
What is the deal?!

There is something as thinking too much; I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride... unless I fall out and die.

I am SEÑIOR!

Just Like a Star Across My Sky

Life can get so complicated over one little thing.
But then there is that one person you can talk to.
They listen, and understand, and make you feel better.

I'm kind of weird, I'm not going to deny it.
I'm just learning to embrace that fact.
I seem to earn more friends that way.

This morning was Arley's second bridal shower, and I was late.
Just like last week, but it was cool.
Huzzah, Keebs.

Senior year, I love you.
You are easy, and relaxing.
You give me free time.

Centennial, we are getting better.
I once hated you.
But you have produced some good thigs this week.

This makes me laugh:

Kroger

Let me just say, I do not stand at the end of the register for my health. Do not look in other directions and ignore me, because actually, I am supposed to help you. You ignoring me hinders my job performance. Listen and respond when I ask you, "Are you ready to check out?"

For some reason, we are ignored. Ignored so much that people are drawn to the center of the front and look around for the open registers. I mean, the people standing in front of the register could not possibly be there to help you check out.

And I don't bag. Don't tell me what to do with your goods. Tell the bagger. That's why he's there, to bag things. I am there to sell them to you.

Of course, they would never ever put your frozen/cold things together in a bag. It's a good thing you ask us to do that. We find that intentionally placing frozen items in different bags makes getting home and seperation groceries more enjoyable. Besides, we don't know what we are doing. I mean, it's not like we were hired for anything like that anyway.

And yes, you have to be 18 to sell beer, and yes, we need your ID.

I'm sorry that the credit card machine isn't working. I mean, next time I won't ESP it to break.

I like working at Kroger. Everyone is nice...for the most part.

News with a Twist

29 years ago today
Elvis died
Of drugs
On a toilet.
Long live the king.

Jon Benet Ramsy's killer was caught
In Thailand
On unrelated sex charges
And confessed.
She would have been my age.

Steady As She Goes

It's kinda a long post, but the pictures make it seem really long...but it's not really.



Summer '06 has officially come to an end. Let's view some of my favorite summer pictures, shall we?





















































































So my new schedule:
1. Graphic Design - Chessor (Deb Chess)
2. Physics - Roberts
3. Econ Hon - Kirby / Study Hall - Martin
4. English IV AP - Roberson (K-Ro)
5. Art III/IV - Foley (Foles)
6. Study Hall - Singleton / Gov. Hon - Stice
7. Photography - Chessor (Deb Chess)

Nothing could be more perfect than walking to school with the Anchorman soundtrack playing in the background on the first day of school. Just makes you feel hard core.

My classes are easy.

Nothing could be more perfect than walking home from school with the Ben Folds album playing in the background on the first day of school. Just makes you feel joyous.

I have good friends.

I was excited all day today. This is my last year. I am a senior. Good gracious I am a senior.

You Don't Need a Brick to Work at Kroger

Church was really good this morning. The Spences (the other British family from the other church in England) spoke this morning and it was fantastic as well as Darrel. "If you think about Jewish kids..."

I am doing something for Darrel, and if I can say this, I feel special because who'd have thunk it? I never thought I'd be good enough to do anything cool like taking pictures for someone. And my payment? A oneofakind Darrel Girardier designed shirt. I am excited about that.

I discovered that I live right down the road from the newtobeWorley family. And I'm told I can hang whenever, but I'm sure 3:30 in the AM is not an ok time to hang.

The little Worleys and the Morrises (sp?) are pretty cool too. I enjoy their company. They are freaking hilarious.

I love working at Kroger. I love it. Love love love love it. More to come on that later though. It gets it's own post.

Yesterday I went to one of Arley's bridal showers, and I painted them a bowl. We all painted pottery.

I'm running again. It makes me feel good.

Bed. More later.

Random Necessity

"You're such a cool person. I was just sitting here so lethargically...numb...then I clicked on your page and it (background, photography, music) made me feel... I love your slick, original style. Don't ever lose it, girl." --Marybeth (a.k.a. Marydeath)

"i'm channeling Michael and he says 'you're fat.'"
"tell him to go bake a fat pie and eat it."
"he says 'you'd like that wouldn't you?'"

Taking stupid pictures in a photobooth at Chuck E. Cheese for a token a snapshot.

Having a birthday for Qwerty, a pipe cleaner sloth, at Chuck E. Cheese with other stuffed animals and random sorts.

Random things like that make my day...even though technically they happened on two different days...I still haven't gone to sleep yet.

In the words of my friend, "I'm going to go read ma book and go to sleep."

Terror

A giant terrorist plot has been foiled over there in the ole UK. Out-going flights from England to the US were supposed to have suicide bombers on board carrying liquid explosives. It's apparently linked to Al Qaida, and over 21 people were arrested early this morning in London. The US airport alert level has gone to red, which is the highest, and it's the first time it's ever been done. England airports are even under a warning, and to my understanding that is not something that happens very often. Though there have been arrests, the threat is not over. Airports are crowded with confused flyers. Right now I believe there are no flights going in or out of the UK. The only thing alowed on board planes at the moment are your passport (if need be) and your ID in a clear plastic bag.

I just pray that come October things will be cooled down and we will be able to go over to England to do what the Lord has called us to do.

Well the grams left this morning. Kayla gave me some dinosaurs. It was pretty cool.

I really...really....reeeally don't want to read my summer reading books. Is that horrible of me?

Stay fly.

Just Wasting Time

I've spent the last few hours watching Arctic Monkey interviews. Makes me like them so much more.

I miss people.

Things

My grams broke her arm. Maybe I should offer her twenty bucks and a weeks stay at my house like she did for me the summer before eighth grade.

I got a new lunch box today. You will be amazed.

I got a hair cut. Kinda looks the same. You will not be amazed.

I don't work until Friday.

I still have to read. I really don't want to. I'll read Sparknotes.

Remembering To Live

Everyone creates drama and is a part of it sometime. Even you. The catch is not to live in it. Get out as soon as you can. I'm tired of being stupid to try and be cool. I don't care whether or not people like me anymore. I mean, I'm me. There's nothing else I can offer. Just me.

As I drive to work or anywhere else, it feels like I am a part of the earth--or at least really living. It makes me stop and look around me. To remember there is more on this planet than my life.

I got something off my chest that I've needed to do all summer. I've grown so close to a friend that if anything was to happen to her I would fall down dead. Dead. I find that whatever I do we will always be friends. That is so hard for me to comprehend.

I'm glad that I have living examples all around me to show that I don't have to be stupid. That I can just be myself and no drama will be created. There are so many that as I sit here and think of them, I am astounded. That's a good thing.

Allie, Kara, and I hung out tonight and it was a necessary closer to summer. For those who fight the school year, it's ok. It's just school. Nine months later it will be summer again. I am a senior this year. Hoorah. This is my last year in high school. Good gracious. I cannot wait to get to college and learn things specifically just for what I want to do. Not any of this nonsense like weights/kinesiology or physics.

We went to my old stomping work grounds. Chuck E. Cheese. I can officially say that I do not miss it at all. The food is mm mm delicious though.

Kroger is so good. It's so easy. And people talk to me. And they are nice. And it pays more. I love working at Kroger.

Then we played ding dong ditch at Tyler's house because his car door was locked and we couldn't sneak in. And then we went to It's a Grind where we met a new friend Josh--all thanks to Bogart...and Lempkin. It's been a while since I just talked to a stranger about random things. Last time was in the begining of summer with hideously great towel robe things.

Schedule:

First Semester
Study Hall - Kemp(y)
Physics - Roberts
Econ Hon - The Kirby
Eng. IV AP - Roberson
Art III/IV - Foley
Pre-Cal - Long (going to be dropped)
Des./Dig. - Chessor (again!)

Second Semester
Weights/Kinesiology - Gregory
Physics - Roberts
Study Hall - Singleton (who?)
Eng. IV AP - Roberson
Art III/IV - Foley
Pre-Cal - Long (going to be dropped)
Des./Dig. - Chessor

I am making a different "Who Am I?" book for England. Something I am looking forward to immensely. Something I will like through and through.

I have so much I feel I need to accomplish within the next week. I mean, I really don't. But I do, I do.

The End.

Air Conditioner Broke Again

that makes a record 4 times in 1.5 weeks--let alone one summer.

Well I got the old schedule today. Good news for me, no math this year. I am dropping it. Goooood. I mean, I am great at math. I almost enjoy it. Just not calculus type math. Plus the teacher sucks to the eighth power.

Even better news: I have weights/kinesiology first period second semester. I'm going to be in the weight room...lifting weights...everyday...for a whole semester. I will be buff. Oh, and by "Even better," I meant "Idiotic."

Soooo...right now I need to find a class I can be shoved into so I don't have to take math.

I have so much to do. Adios.

Chicago Slide Show

well the air broke for the 3rd time this summer. poop. but it was fixed this morning. yay.
the grams and aunt and cousin are here. yay.
i think i am getting a hair cut today. yay.
i have 600 pages to read before school. poop.
i made a slide show. yay.